Stars and dots

Yesterday I had a client write my boss and praise me. Work is busy and I did not spend time glowing about it. But it was nice that he acknowledged my work and I smiled. Yesterday evening his partner wrote about how I did everything wrong. I got the date wrong, the name wrong, the content wrong, the cc wrong. The fact is I did not but I am not sure he is interested in that. He was way more interested in tearing me up.

This morning at church during our lords table comments, Rudy Morrow began reading Max Lucado's parable of the Wemmicks. It is about how the good stuff and the bad stuff sticks to us and we wear it only because we put value on it. The value we need to have is how our maker feels about us. And He loves us and just wants us to come to him and talk about our hurts and struggles.

So it was like a parable. One person likes you, another does not. Has more to do with them than me. Yes its painful but I can't let it stick. God knows my heart and I am trying as hard as I can. But His grace is sufficient for what I lack. Wow
DKU

FLAKE

Really it seems like I have not written in awhile but I have been writing lots. Mostly on the RonStump Carepage. You have to organize time and do what is important. So please understand.

My friend, Ron, has signed up for hospice and is slipping away. His faith is even more evident as he faces his last days. It is hard watching him fade and we thought all these years that who he was ...........was tall and strong with a booming voice and a man who could so easily touch so many.... but now as we see those things leaving him, and what is left is a testimony of great faith and a man at peace with the rest of this journey. We will see him again.

I will write of him, but not yet. Now is the time to serve however I can.DKU

Lull

It seems that it has been awhile since I posted last. That could mean that I am really busy. Which is kind of true. I went on vacation... to sunny Arizona to see my parents. But then I came home and cleaned closets for five days. Lets face it... cleaning closets is not that exciting. But I clearly needed to do it. There is lots of writing for me to do. I have a novel to edit..... so when? When I was writing the novel there was a deadline. Now there is no deadline. I will have to work on it.

But I think the reason why I have been silent is not that I have been overwhelmingly busy or that I am avoiding my computer because it is calling out to me to edit the novel. Or that I have been buried in a good book or 4 or 9. I read Twilight and all the sequels and I doubt very seriously that there will be another great read like that to come along for a long time. I read the nine installments of the First Ladies Detective Agency, which was not passionate like Twilight but certainly great entertainment. No I am now reading some book about a detective that crochets and calls herself a "happy hooker".

The reason I have not posted is that I think I am pondering some changes... I am thinking about my life and who I am and how I interact with the world and the people around me. I am recognizing that the good health and the years and the energy and the muscles and the passion that I have enjoyed in my life are finite and no longer limitless resources. The opportunities for making a change, for doing something that matters are diminishing and I am recognizing that perhaps I am not looking at things correctly. Some days it seems I just focus on the regrets, my weaknesses, my fears. And yet, that is not what my life has been.

One of the things I have thought of is that it seems you work your whole life to acquire the symbols of success --- nice house, some toys, retirement plan, car, vacations,.... and then you realize that you cannot take these things with you. Those are not the symbols of success. It is my children, the love and sense of family that we have, the joy we have in being together.

I look around and see myself surrounded by junk. Stuff. Garbage. Excess. Ignored crap. I do not begrudge the things I have that I see, use, enjoy. It is all the masive amount of stuff that just sits there in closets and the garage, and the attic and on shelves and cubbyholes that I am saving for _______. It is stuff that no one uses and has no reason for being in my house except that I was hoping to take up new pasttimes when I retire or I keep thinking that when I am done with work for the evening I could start doing these new things. But the fact is that as I get older, I find that I am tired at night. End of story. New stuff to do is NOT what I need. So I keep going thru the house and taking loads to Goodwill. And I sincerely hope that I am taking more stuff out than what I bring in.

My job is killing me. Stress, high blood pressure, high sugar in my blood. And I can point at all these things and recognize that they are bad. But what is bad is my priorities. My job should not be the priority. My family, my health, my spiritual life... THOSE ARE THE PRIORITIES. I have to learn to live differently and can that be done at this age?


There is more to it than the stuff. And I am unsure of how to talk about these things. What I am looking at is change - changing me and how I look at the world around me and how I deal with it. Can I? I like the mantra .. YES I CAN. But it is all about teaching an old dog new tricks. Maybe. DKU

2008 Books...

Alcorn, Randy - Safely Home
Bridges, Jerry - Is God Really in Control?: Trusting God in a World of Hurt
Foster, Richard - Freedom of Simplicity
Ginzburg, Eugenia - Journey Into the Whirlwind WItness & Victim of Stalin's reign of Terror
Gladwell, Malcolm - The Tipping Point: How little things can make a big difference
Grisham, John - The Appeal
Hosseini, Khaled - A Thousand Splendid Suns
Hosseini, Khaled - The Kite Runner
Jones, Ann - Winter in Kabul
Kingsolver, Barbara - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle - a year of food life
MacDonald, James - Gripped by the Greatness of God
Madela, Nelson - Long Walk to Freedom
Margolin, Phillip - Proof Positive
McCall Smith, Alexander - The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency #1 - Tears of a Giraffe #2 - Morality for Beautiful Girls #3 - The Kalahiri Typing School for Men #4 - The Full Cupboard of Life #5 - In the Company of Cheerful Ladies #6 - Blue Shoes and Happiness #7 - The Good Husband of Zebra Drive #8 - The Miracle of Speedy Motors #9
Meyers, Stephenie - Breaking Dawn #4
Meyers, Stephenie - Eclipse #3
Meyers, Stephenie - New Moon #2
Meyers, Stephenie - Twilight #1
Nowen, Henri - A Restless Soul - meditations from the road
Nowen, Henri - Dare to Journey
Peterson, Eugene - The Message // Remix: SOLO
Pippert, Rbecca - Out of the Salt Shaker & into the World
Pollan, Michael - In Defense of Food
Pollan, Michael - Omnivores Dilemma
Reynolds, Elizabeth - Not by Sight
Rivers, Francine - Unveiled
Ruth, John - Forgiveness - A Legacy of the West Nickel Mines Amish School
Woodroof, Tim - Walk This Way
Yoder, Harvey - The Happening - Nickel MInes School Tragedy

It is still unrecognizeable!

Just to remind everyone... Oregon is green and beautiful and rainy. It has been a whole week of this white stuff and I do not know what to do! I want green and rain back! DKU

What if you wake up and don't recognize the world?

Snow is so magical because it transforms the common into the uncommon. Where winter storms rob the landscape of the usual shades of green and in the fall, golds and yellows, and reds - snow just colors everything white and pristeen. As the clumps of snow landing on the bushes transform them to some sort of other worldly things we do things while it snows that are also "different". We avoid the rain but turn our faces to catch the snow. Our eyes follow the flakes, and measure the flakes, and count the flakes. Rain feels dreary the longer it falls and snow feels energizing the longer it falls. Even if you are beyond the age of sleds and snow boards or even plastic lids... you take joy in watching the kids have fun in innovative ways. The basketball is put away and they are sliding down the middle of the street wearing only their shoes. "watch me!"

But one of the coolest parts of snow days is the feeling that it is a bonus day and while the weather is doing the wierd... we find new things to do. Things we ordinarily do not have time for. I decorated the Christmas tree with lights and balls and the whole works (first time in years); I began sewing Christmas presents (and not a moment too soon); I cooked a pot of chili that warmed my tummy for days (maybe some other side effects which remind me not to do that too often...); I pulled out the infamous afghan that I began more than 25 years ago to crochet and keep warm at the same time. Since these days are usually unplanned, one must just do what is here and there are plenty of projects to work on.

And the snow gives us many metaphors for life.... it comes and covers our whole world and makes it beautiful in new ways. But our lives are still there underneath it all. It is how we choose to look at it. I think our sins being washed as white as snow and recognize how huge that is. I think we all need a free day once in while and snow days give it to us all at once. It helps me practice the reality that I am not that needed anywhere to add my car to the mess on the roads. Someday I will not be here at all. The world will still turn. It is important to take these gifts as they come and recognize the Creator who made us to enjoy all he created! DKU

I won...

HALF WAY

Yesterday afternoon I left a gloriously GOD-decorated fall day in Portland, leaves still every shade of yellow, gold, and red and Mt. Hood graciously standing guard over the city .. and flew to San Jose and traveled down the coast of CA where they are having a heat wave in November. We travel so easy from one place to the next and as easy as it is... I always remember why I love where I live. It is not just the green of the summer and the wonderful fall and blue skies and even the many colors of rain, but the people that I have come to feel are my family. Being gone from them makes me feel smaller and less. And coming home brings joy ... even from small weekends away.



This visit is one of excitement because I get to watch my daughter skate in a roller derby bout, something I have never seen and I am truly anxious to experience this part of my youngest child's life.



I awoke this morning with the windows open and fresh air streaming in... birds calling and as I sit here and write I see flowers cascading over the fence. Skies are blue and it just promises to be a fine day.



But more important than all of that, I have gotten over the hump of this novel I am writing. Today is the 15th and I am more than half way to my goal. The fact that I have found discipline to keep writing does not surprise me. What still scares me is that the story will be completed and I will still have 15,000 words to go. How do people arrange to finish their novels at 50,000 words. If they only make it to 45,500 is that any less of a novel? Can you just write a preface and call it good? I actually already have a preface .. but an epilogue could be in order. Perhaps one could dedicate their novel to their dead mother or to their great aunt Jennie or to their first grade teacher whose name they have forgotten.



BTW that first grade teacher helped me know my potential in challenging me with the hardest spelling words a person could do. I remember having to learn to spell "encyclopedia" and "spaghetti" and "equipment" as a 7 year old and I thought that was what school would be like. Imagine my disappointment when I hit second grade and there was no challenge for me ever. And third grade was even worse. But I digress. That first grade teacher who showed me how smart I was humuliated me - the new girl who arrived mid year in some sort of self invented spanking machine for some imagined infraction. I am sure I did something wrong... but I was not the kind of child at 7 to do anything deliberately wrong. I obeyed my elders and obeyed the rules. (It took me till my teen years to decide to test the rules). I was the new kid. And she had all the kids in the class line up two by two and the offender had to walk between them while each kid was allowed to swat/hit/slap this "bad kid" as they walked the line. It was humiliating. Same teacher. Go figure. No dedication here... just some old baggage.

DKU

Week 2 Nanowrimo

Writing a novel in a month seemed like a great goal. But after week one--- it is beginning to feel like running a marathon and I am not sure I have what it takes to finish. I get up early and make a cup of tea and then write and try to get the all words in that I hoped to, and then stumble to work feeling a little shell shocked, then home to bed and up to do it again.

I have forgotten the names of my characters and whether or not I am writing real-life or reciting a dream. I have no idea how old my characters are or what year it is. At one time I did but I forgot. I realize that there is more to the story than who and what... but the when-s and the why-s and the where-s and the how-s have to get in there, too. If my story is in the 40s or 50s I cannot use names like Jessica or Stephanie or Joshua. In other words, it is way more complicated than I thought.

People think I have done well because my word count is high so far. But it is only because I am terrified of running out of story with many more words to go before I can be really done. It is about pacing yourself and being familiar with the route. Neither of which I have a handle on.

So... I am in there but hanging on barely. I could use some refreshing ideas and some excitement but instead will just keep plugging away. DKU

November begins

Last year I would not commit to NanoWrimo and instead committed to writing 30,000 words for the month of November, a serious undertaking no doubt. I had been blogging for awhile but I had never given anyone access to the blog. But to keep myself accountable, I gave people access. It was scary. And while I know that there are times when strangers read, most of the blog reading I am confident, is done by people who love me and have to praise me. That is what I tell myself.

I will share a couple of fun stories. One is that I googled DKU Dribbles once and found a reference to the first blog I did. It was the beginning of a series called, "el dia de los muertos" and the first was to honor my late mother in law. It was being used as an example of American writing somewhere in India.

Another funny one is that I wrote about being superstitious when I had an itchy palm and I googled it.... I found out that we a very superstitious people even in the United States. Well someone wanted to post the very first comment I had ever received -- which I blocked. Perhaps I should have let it ride. But they were sure that my itchy palms were a sign of some serious venereal disease. When I stopped laughing I was kind of sad that - that was really my first real comment.

Anyway, this year, this November, this weekend begins the slog towards the real NanoWrimo http://www.nanowrimo.org/ committment of a 50,000 word novel in the next 30 days. I have to tell you I started the committment by giving myself permission to fail. I know that is a cop out but that is alot of writing and I do have other committments this month. However, I was totally unprepared for failing the first day! I blocked out the weekend and sat down to write and then noticed the dishes needed doing and the coffee needed making and a load of laundry needed washing and the coffee beans needed grinding and my bed needed making and ... need I go on? At 10:30 I had my hair cut and then wandered around Freddies for awhile. I read some more of the book called NO PLOT NO PROBLEM by Chris Baty which is a handbook for the whole NanoWrimo thing and then took a nap. I filled the bird seed feeders and cut the roses in the rain, even picked a few for the house. I thawed out chicken and cut carrots and potatoes and made a luscious soup for dinner. Yes I got around to writing but it was painfully hard. The first day I expected to be easy and it was not.

So wish me luck. I want to get to the end of the month with relationships with my children and friends in tact, with my job still getting done, without piles of laundry and dishes stacking up. I want to write 50,000 words of coherent narrative that I never have to let anyone read. But I want to finish the month and know that I had it in me and that marathons can look be different at different times. And this one is definitely an ultra and it is the one I have committed to today. DKU

Where I Am From

At the beach we looked for a writing exercise to warm up and settled on writing our own renditions of George Ella Lyon's Where I Am From. It was fun thinking of memories that shaped me in good ways and bad. I found it was easier to read than to write and I have been rewriting it for weeks. Today I stop and am posting it. Take a shot at it. My question is that if we never think about these things that shape us, do they go away?

Where I Am From

I am from a mom who is soft and warm,
who laughs, who paints and camps and bowls and still plays.
I am from a dad who drove a truck, and a motorcycle,
who hunted and fished and bowls and still plays.

I am from an army hospital,

a row house in the Haight district of San Francisco,
a breezeway connecting duplexes,

Moms chatting to each other hanging out the windows,
a long dark hallway to the glass front door with the mail slot and
a claw foot bathtub off the kitchen that

Dad once fell asleep and let overflow.

I am from kids playing games in the alley next to the street,
sneakily picking the old lady’s roses hoping she’d give us suckers

to stay away from her flowers.
And a parakeet that got loose and Mom climbed a fence to catch it.

I am from a suburban SJ street nestled

between orchards and progress,
played baseball in the street, ran barefoot in the cool grass,
tumbling, and somersaults and cartwheels trying to best our friends.
Played till the night began to fall,
knowing Mom’s call preceded a dreaded bath
and scrubbing that would surely come.
My neck& feet never clean enough, surely I was born that way.

I am from the orchards of Cupertino….
the rich black soil, the mustard in the spring followed by poppies,
then apples, peaches and apricots,

each with their own aroma each in their own season.
A bb gun to shoot the birds that pecked the fruit,
and the train that whistled from a long way off.
Where it came from and where it went the source of great

imaginings, however boring the truth really was.

I am from roses and black walnuts that stained your hands,
and the dog, Skipper that was a casual companion,
and the sweet peas growing on the side of the house,
and the gladiolus framing the lawn.
Garden parties with ancient white haired wrinkled folks
with alcohol on their breath,
the cot shed where we learned to cut apricots

with grownup knives onto large wooden trays,
worms had to be cut out with all their eggs and mess.
Perfect apricots we slipped quickly into our mouths,

savoring exotic sweetness.
When the trays stacked too high to reach,

they moved to the railroad car, then to the sulfur shed.
Grandpa sometimes let us ride.

I am from my grandma’s table who made great smelling pies ruined
by having to eat squash and zucchini and cooked spinach.
She insisted that all who sat at her table had to finish their vegetables
before dessert would be shared.
We stared her down and went without dessert.

I am from a few pets…. scraggily cats
one of them had kittens in the washing machine.
A dog named Tisbee who peed with excitement when petted,
even peed on… my boyfriend from down the street.
A sister who shared my love for purple …
purple checked bedspreads and a
mom who scrimped and saved to give us special things,
warm coats, shoes, clothes that fit.

I am from camping in the Sierra Nevada mountains
and finding my favorite fishing spot…
on a log across the river and learning to gut the fish
and frying them in cornmeal over the open fire.
Of spending 3 weeks backpacking dressed in boys pants, shirts, shoes
and the only one to play with was my sister.
not getting along was temporarily not an option.

I am from epic road trips driving on all sorts of highways
“I gotta go” and “are we there yet?”
With long rides in the car listening to my Dad singing
(of course you might not call it singing…
For none of us were blessed with voices that passed for singing) …
In his best gruff German voice…

“What is this, my son,
Vat is this,
Vat is this.
This is my top notcher that’s vat this is..
Top Notcher, Doodle do do.
That’s what we learned at the school”.

http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/m019.html (A little different...)

Or

“Oh my darling,
Oh my darling,
Oh my daaaaarrrrllllllling Clemantine….
You are lost and gone forever,
Oh my darling, Clemantine”.

http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/c012.html

Then when Dad stopped singing Diane and I would pick up with
the never ending song of our day, “Found a peanut”. http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/f009.html
for hours and hours.
Girl scout camp and church camps
Gave us fresh but equally annoying car songs.

Seeing the Grand Canyon and the Painted Desert, Old Faithful,
And ghost towns, Ape caves, Oregon caves, Pinnacle caves.
Who needed Disney when the world around was so incredible?
Swimming in lakes and rivers and oceans with inner tubes
and getting sun burned but never caring how cold the water really was.
Of campfires and marshmellows and stars and outhouses.
and bats and rats and snakes all destined to be pets for a time at least.

I am from those teenage years that screamed rebellion songs
the war, protest songs, peace marches, demonstrations,

granny glasses, long straight hair,
and fear of growing up, and fear of not growing up.
It is always painful.

I am from faith and community, a community I once left behind,
but came back, gratefully and gracefully.
I am from a family who cares, who steps up when times are hard,
who loves in actions and lives their beliefs
and does not have to preach to teach.

I am from a young marriage, starry eyed

and full of love, committed forever…
but marriage, a two person sport without a team, game forfeit!
I am from motherhood and grand-motherhood – creating family
who make me richer and smarter and wiser and strong-er

and more peaceful and more courageous.

I am from hard knocks, from college, from working hard,
from 10Ks and marathons and bike rides ridden …. a day or a week,
mountains climbed and valleys navigated,

countries traveled and eyes opened,
passion to touch, children to clothe and feed,

medicines to buy, a world to save.

I am from modest beginnings and aspire to modest endings,
No better no worse… a life well lived, and blessed.

We had a weekend you dream about... getting away from the laundry and the dishes and the yard that needs cleaning, away from the "shoulds" and the "I gotta...".

I had hoped for a real vacation this last week but alas our government slipped in another tax season when I was not looking. SO the long hours that we put in during the spring is mirrored in October for all those folks who procrastinated and then believed they were the only ones....

But I got a weekend stolen... a three day weekend at that. It was a writing weekend complete with all the extras one would like...

• total view of the vast ocean and the cold waves from our room
• all the beach activity, from walkers to dogs, kites and bikes and sails and surfboards,
• a lovely town to walk thru looking for a muse,
• long beach to challenge the legs and hurt the knees
• some movie watching which I rarely do at home
• chicken noodle soup in the crock pot
• Ben & Jerry's ice cream to cap off the day
• 5 minute microwave cake to accompany the ice cream.

My friend, Connie and I got up and did our personal bible study, took a walk and then began writing. While the writing was different, the process is the same. She has a great book that she has been working on for kids. I actually got to help her brainstorm and research for it. I was just writing for the release of it. We started out with an exercise ... modeling a poem called "Where I'm From" by George Ella Lyons. http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html. If you go to the site, listen to the poem in her voice. It is really great. It was fun pulling memories out of the hat. If we never think back, do we lose those memories?

My Mom jumped an 8 foot fence to try to catch a bird. What an image! We used to steal the neighbor lady roses so she would drop suckers down from her apartment window to pay us to stay away from her prized flowers. I was 5.

The next day was more serious writing and I demonstrated to myself that I could do Na-no-Wri-Mo http://www.nanowrimo.org/. However November seems to be so busy. I am leading a Beth Moore group and there is the book we are doing for Wednesday night, Gripped by the Greatness of God... not too willing to give that up. Sunday morning's book is less gripping (pun intended) but I still feel compelled to read it. And during the month I am hoping to catch my first Roller Derby Bout in the Central Coast of California. So I am not sure that I can commit and really make the goal of writing 50,000 words in one month.

Monday calls... but the weekend was wonderful. DKU

Psalm One

In my personal bible study, I read Psalm 1 out of the Message and thought.. what would I write if I were writing a Psalm in current vernacular.? Here is my shot…

God approves of the man who
Does not hang out with sinners
Or seeks them in the night or,
Wants to sit all day with those up to no good.

The man who seeks the heart of God
And thinks about His goodness all the time….
wins God’s attention.

He is like a tree planted on the bank near the water…
That yields fruit when it is time and
Never loses its leaves.
God will bless all he does.

But not the wicked.
They go whatever way the crowd goes.
So the wicked will definitely not be in control
Nor will they even get to sit at the table with the righteous.

Because the Lord watches over those who seek Him
And those who don’t will die.

Personal Bible Study

SOLO PAGE
Errrggg…consistency is such a struggle!!!

Finding the time to be consistent with some sort of daily bible study / devotional / meditation time is a struggle for most of us. It is not that we don’t want to do it or that we are not richly rewarded when we do; it is that our lives are rarely consistent from day to day or week to week. We may have jobs and some of our jobs may even be boringly routine, but “our time” is still not.

Some rare mornings, we get ourselves up very early before the rest of our family wake up, when the birds are just beginning their morning songs and we snuggle into an oversized chair with our Bible on our lap. We’ve got our cup of coffee or tea, and then we pour out our heart to the Father. Quietly, we meditate on His Word, and listen carefully for what he brings to our hearts. We carry around that glow all day and enjoy His peace as we experience His world.

Do you do it again the next day? Maybe. Or just as likely…you have to get up early and get to work because of some big project…or you have to clean the house for company coming…or you have to meet friends at the gym for an early workout. That wonderful rewarding time of solitude, burying yourself in God’s Word is just yesterday’s memory because today the tyranny of the urgent once again rules.

Some of us searching for practice in being consistent in our personal bible study time have committed to working through a book called “SOLO.” The book is a 365-day devotional, written by Eugene Peterson that begins in Genesis and ends in Revelation. He uses a short text from his translation, “The Message” and encourages you to read an extended passage from your own Bible to gain more understanding of the events surrounding the story. He then takes the story and helps you to reflect on it in new ways by using lectio divina…a process that requires you to read a passage and to pray about it and then take some part of it with you. This is not a bible study for someone wanting to gain information or learn content. Rather, it is listening to Scripture as though God is speaking to us. Often there is a gentle shift in who you were when you sat down and who you are at the end of a day of reflecting.

A group of us met a few days ago to touch base and talk about our process of personal bible study. These are some of the things we discussed:

· How is it going? Are you liking the study?
· When we were meeting regularly with a Spiritual Disciplines group, we often discussed how difficult it was to maintain consistency in our personal study. I am not talking about the reading we do for the class on Sunday morning, but the reading we do that allows us to place ourselves in the presence of God… to hear what it is God is saying to us and to lay before Him what is on our heart. Have you found consistency in your practice of study, a special time, a special place, a specific routine?
· It seems like Peterson especially in the beginning is using stories that show us qualities of God. And perhaps the God of the Old Testament is much more similar to the God of the New Testament than we had figured. Do the qualities of this God of the Old Testament surprise you?
· Have you found days that raised questions … Like DAY #2 - what exactly is wrestling (as opposed to fighting) and why would two grown men wrestle all night? Why did the angel ask Jacob his name? There have been days when I was full of questions that I had never thought of. How do you get those questions answered?
· Are you able to take points of a day’s study with you during the day and meditate on them?
· Each day asks us to pray about the topic of the study. We are easily comfortable with our usual prayers – shopping lists – of all our needs wants and desires layed down. However these prayers are very different and often require us to place ourselves in the story or identify with the characters in very uncomfortable ways. How are you able to do this?
Our discussion together was great. We decided we definitely would plan another time to meet together and touch base, hold each other accountable. This is not about measuring how far each of us have gotten, or how consistent we have been, or how thorough we have been in doing each day’s lessons. This is about encouraging each other and listening to new ways that folks have developed to absorb these lessons and how they have allowed God’s Word to change them.

If you are not doing a personal Bible Study, I would really suggest that you go to the bookstore and look for Eugene Peterson’s book, SOLO. And find a friend to do it with you!

Joy of Friendship

When we meet someone we do a little dance to see how well they fit. This is not a gay thing.. it is a people thing. Some folks look for friends who mirror themselves… same style of clothing, same way of talking, same family history. They feel like the person would be themselves…. And the things they like about themselves, they like about this potential friend.

Others of us look for friends that bring a diversity to the relationship, different race, different upbringing, different taste in decorating and clothing, different education. There is a richness from melding the experiences together… where each in itself is rather mundane… but together the tapestry woven by people who come together is rich and a feast for the eyes.

Friends sometime know us better than we know ourselves… No matter how we come together and no matter what attracts us to each other… they know us. Sometimes they are not “old” friends. New friends often know us well immediately. We feel a sense of having been friends forever. When we meet a “new friend” we have a sense of urgency and a recognition of the rarity of a new friend. The older we get we realize that friends do not come along just every day.

The days we struggle, our friends know. Sometimes we need a diversion, sometimes we need someone to commiserate with us… sometimes we need an alteration in our own path. Those friends are there and they know instinctively what it is we truly need. Being with our friend divides our burden and it becomes manageable again.

The days we are celebrating life…. Oh we get to celebrate with our friends. We would never ever dream of celebrating alone. Being with a friend magnifies our happiness.

This weekend we celebrated the birthdays of a couple of wonderful friends. I used to agonize over the perfect gift and lament that my pocket book was not as deep as the esteem I held for them. Now I know the stuff measures nothing. My idea of a celebration is always a celebratory experience, a memory. Memories last longer, provide joy for the moment and warm hearts long after. So we celebrated, we joked, we encouraged, we listened, we giggled, we laughed, we clapped and relished joy. I measure my wealth by the wonderful friends in my life. You could count me very wealthy. DKU

Reading

I have read many great books this summer. I keep a running list of what is next to read. The tough thing about a good book is always the last page. Somehow we want them to go on and on and they never do. From Gone with the Wind to my latest books by Khaled Hosseini - they always end and I still have questions! As far as having the books end too soon, I think I am learning to get around that. I am reading several good books all at one time and then I am reading them slow!

The book that has really rocked me this summer is Michael Pollan's Omnivore's Dilemma. If you know me at all you know it has been my main topic of conversation all summer. The ideas are profound and they are causing me to rethink alot of ways that I have always eaten. However, when it is acting as an agent of change, I have to digest slowly. I read and then digest and sometimes have to go back and look at it again. However, I cannot wait to finish it so I can read it again. I cannot ever remember a book that I wanted to read again-- in the very same year.

From his website: "The surprising answers Pollan offers to the simple question posed by this book have profound political, economic, psychological, and even moral implications for all of us. Beautifully written and thrillingly argued, The Omnivore’s Dilemma promises to change the way we think about the politics and pleasure of eating. For anyone who reads it, dinner will never again look, or taste, quite the same. "

http://www.michaelpollan.com/omnivore.php

When I read it again it will be with a highlighter in my hand because there are so many interesting facts that I recognize as true but have never thought about the implications that our eating habits and farm practices have on our economy and our physical well being and our future and our government lobbies and maybe even politics. I tell you this is a really great book to just chew on.

But one fun thing that happened while I read on this book. Our family group went camping a few weeks ago all the way to LaPine which was hours and hours away. It was unbearably hot. So one day in the afternoon, Bob and I got out our books. He is reading some non-fiction story about an American Indian in the 17th century who travels to Europe. I was reading Omnivore's Dilemma. We decided to each read a sentence from our books alternating between us. It was kind of funny at first. After about 10 minutes.. .they sounded like they were from the same book. We read quite awhile and it was really hilarious. Try it sometime.. DKU

Fall...

There are so many parts of fall that are wonderful... new beginnings, crisp mornings, expectations of higher things, stretching myself and moving out of comfort zones, simply saying goodbye to summer. But today was a bonus summer day, hot and quiet, with blue skies and only the barest of coolness in the evening...It was a day that cannot be sustained because summer is over. Yet looking at the flowers I had a time to relish summer's bounty one more time... What I saw in my camera did not at all relate to what the picture turned out like. How many times do we walk away from something because our eye fails to see the gift that is really there..... DKU

Portland to Coast

A couple of weekends ago I participated in the World’s largest (or is it longest?) relay, PTC http://www.hoodtocoast.com/index_ptc.php. The company I work for sponsored our team and we have been training for months. I am the only person on the team with experience, so 11 of us were just stepping out on faith. Not only did most of us have to build from 0 miles to 3-4-5-6-7 miles but we had to be in good enough shape to turn around and do it again 9 hours later.

I thought committing to the relay would give me a goal that would help me get into shape. Maybe it worked but I have been disappointed in myself. My blood pressure has come down from pretty high numbers that caused my doctor to give me blood pressure meds to a blood pressure of 117/77. But I have not lost any weight at all. Such a disappointment. I ended up with back pain 2 weeks before the event that stopped me cold. But the yoga class helped me at least be able to walk. Not sure walking was going to be fast, but I could walk.

On the day of the walk (or race as someone so eagerly pointed out to me) I looked around and saw the most courageous people. Yes, those younger folks walked really fast. But there were older people and there were heavy people, and there was a blind team that just humbled me. The important thing is to get out and do it.

The interesting thing to think about is why we do these relays and 10ks, why we climb mountains and why we ride 500 miles on a bike, why we race cars and why we ride dirt bikes, why we bowl 100 games a week, and why we ski and skate board. Our lives are not dangerous; we rarely face risks. We simply hunger for accomplishments bigger than our desks and files.

As I recovered from my little “race” it seems that the stress of the race triggered a small case of shingles on my face no less. Again, I am reminded that our bodies are precious and we have no idea what lies deep in our systems, just waiting to pop out. Last night I heard someone on TV say that “we gotta take really good care of our bodies JUST IN CASE we get sick!” Well, I am going to keep on walking! DKU

FALL

Fall is coming… boldly crashing thru the back door. We have had a winter rain and winds that snapped us out of the lazy summer lull we have been enjoying. No one likes hot hot.. but we were not ready for the cold winter weather either. Could we just have days of 70 or so… blue skies and some puffy white pretty clouds?

Fall is always the season of new beginnings. Maybe each season is a hallmark of beginnings. In deep winter we have the NEW YEAR, a time to resolve new things and to take measure of our past and set some new goals. Never mind that the temperature hovers around freezing at night and the early mornings and that I go months without seeing daylight because it is dark when I leave and dark when I come home. There are soups in the crock pot and the fire crackling (ok.. gas doesn’t exactly crackle…) There is still the feeling of newness as the months march along.

Then there is spring when the crocuses poke thru (ok it is technically still winter when they appear). But we delight in the tulips and daffodils which liven the dull landscape. Each tree that blossoms is like a new voice in the choir ready to be heard. I love watching the trees leaf out and show every possible color of green. The flowers add their shocks of color that make waves over the landscape. We peruse the produce aisle for new salad greens to brighten those heavy winter meals. SPRING is awesome. Every morning is a feast as some new tree/shrub/perennial announces its appearance.

Summer is the time when we shift gears. The work week is only the bridge to the weekend where we plan to ride bikes, camp, and play in the water, visiting and having company and vacationing to places away from home, to enjoying luscious fruits and vegetables. It is such a social time for barbecues and outside hanging. Our homes become bigger as we pass thru the halls to get to the windows to see what each day brings. It is the calm before the hectic fall that allows us time to reflect and enjoy the fruits .. fruits and veggies from the garden, fruits of our labor, fruits of our hearts. Summer is the quietest inside because so much is happening outside.

But, then here is Fall. School starts. Even though I do not attend school, a part of me is ready to reinvent myself. To buckle down and make things happen before the winter drives me inside. I want to buy new clothes and wear warm comfy sweaters when it is still 85. I want to buy new pens and paper and think about writing again. The trees go out with a flash announcing their hibernations with the richest of colors, first up in their branches and then down on the ground. We have to clean up the mess and prepare for the winter. Fall is a time when the air smells differently and the birds that have flitted all over my yard all summer start moving on. I think that fall is really a time of transition between the lazy days of summer and the lazy snuggly days of winter.

So my point is… there seems to be a frenzy; camping last weekend; Portland to Coast this weekend; the trellis needs finishing; the yard cleaning. So much to do, so little time. Same drill, a different year. DKU

This n that

How do you disengage? I have been trying hard to wrap up something I was involved in before I jump in with both feet to do something new, and the ending is dragging out way longer than I want. Is it like breaking up with a relationship? I want to kiss and be done. Some are just dragging their feet! Help!



The other thing that has been on my mind is that I am now older. I am not young. I am not middle... I am on the tail end of life. Maybe that is morbid but it is how I see it. While my skin has lost elasticity and gravity is taking on new meaning that eluded me in grade school... and there are a hundred ways I can tell you that getting old sucks... there are some benefits. One is maturity and poise and self assurance. I know myself. The things that drove me nuts in my younger years, are mere annoyances now. They will pass as do all things that drive me nuts. On the other hand when life is smooth and going so well and I am basking in contentment... that too will pass. :)



But what I have been thinking about is change. As I interact with people it seems that there are two camps. The first camp says... "HERE I AM... take me or leave me. God knows me, loves me, and has forgiven my shortcomings So this is just who I am. I am not changing!"



The other camp seeks change that never comes soon enough or fast enough. It acknowledges that we are each works in progress, being transformed into His likeness. A little arrogant on the surface but the gist of it is that we are fallen, and sinful and NOT OK today. That HE loves us, has forgiven us but He is still working on us. We are works in progress.



What do you think?



One last thing. I have written less about compacting. I am not ignoring it. In fact it is permeating much of my life in other ways. However, I must confess I have consumed. It is books that are a weakness. However, I attempt to buy cheaply if that makes points. I am richer for my summer reading and will update my reading list soon.



We are benefitting from our weekly CSA (community supported agriculture... http:://www.localharvest.org/csa/ ) bags. We find not only local produce but vegetables in their season. I definitely have eaten new veggies I would have never bought in a zillion years (fava beans and raw garbanzo beans). I am learning to like squash ... but never tell my Grandmother. But also, old favorites - strawberries, red potatoes straight from the ground, onions that are crunchly like apples! It has been quite a treat.



OK. This is all. That is all. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to think the ideal husband post was so important that it should stick around too long. DKU