Last night we celebrated a special birthday and for the first time in a long time, our family all gathered together. Our family has struggled with some conflict this last year. It has been hard, really hard. And in the midst of the conflict we have had some terrific high points - the birth of another grandchild and he is wonderful!
We have new people in the family, I think. Since there are no marriages it is hard to be sure. That is a personal struggle for me. I hate the idea of getting to know and love people that might be not part of us the next year. I have no problem embracing new people. My difficulty is in letting go when the relationships end. TO me, Family is Family and the relationships do NOT begin and end so casually.
So last night at our birthday celebration we had some conflict. The prior conflicts may not be gone. They were not present. That is so awesome and it shows everyone's desire to be family together. There were other conflicts... mostly in the arena of how we each discipline differently. It is so hard when we raise little ones --- everyone with their own expectations of behavior. We still have to figure out how to be family and get along even with our differences.
And I came home last night and reflected on a gift I received yesterday in the mail. It was a candle and a card from a Mom whose only child, a son, died 5 years ago when he was 28. He was the same age as my son. Her request was to light the candle and remember.
While holding my new grandson I coo-ed at him and smiled at him and relished each noise he gave back to me, I realized how rich I am, conflicts and all, loud and noisy and struggles and discipline. So as I think about a young man I never knew and mourn the loss for a woman I love, a Mom, not just of her son but of her grandchildren and her future daughter in law and of all the pleasures and struggles that he would have given her... I stop and say "thank you Lord for my family, struggles and all. Thank you for today, for all the yesterdays, and for all the tomorrows we get."
Help me to remember to be thankful in the midst of conflict.
DKU
Showing posts with label thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thanksgiving. Show all posts
Nov 26, 2009
Nov 22, 2007
Life of gratitude
This is a season for being thankful. Most of the time we just think about turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and relatives. For this one day we might think about our heritage and the pilgrims and Indians. We might think about Mom's pecan pie recipe and wish she were here to make it. But since I just finished the massive list of 100 things - a list which has little value, I am going to try for the list of things to be thankful for.
1. Jesus - He should always be at my #1 spot but often is not. I am forgetful and often forget His sacrifice on the cross so that I might be saved from my own sinfulness. His gift to me is overwhelming… Father, may I remember Him more and myself less.
2. A Loving God – God is love. I think at the end of it all…Our God is a loving Father and not the angry vice-principal. He sent His son to show us the way.
3. A Spirit who fills us – we have not been left to deal with this hard world by ourselves.
4. Salvation - That hope that we have deep inside us that lets us know that no matter who we are and where we have been and what we have done, we have a loving Father who has promised us a life on the other side that will make the struggles of this life pale away in comparison. Father, thank you for the hope you have given us in your Son. May I show that hope as I live my life.
5. Grace - Back to that “no matter who we are and where we have been and what we have done” He loves us anyway. That I am undeserving of grace is true. That I have been given grace anyway… Priceless!
6. My church family – they are like all families, imperfect. But most every day I can see Jesus in the service of their hands, in the words on their lips, and the songs on their hearts. They give me the tangible Jesus to look at and see and a place to belong.
7. Spiritual disciplines group – I cannot tell you how much these people mean to me. Over the years we have walked together thru good times and dark times, we have cried together, laughed together, loved on each other with the agape love that we are growing into. More importantly we have grown spiritually, been challenged and changed, and hopefully continue to be transformed into HIS likeness. These people are my chosen family and I appreciate every single day God puts us together. I want the best for each one of them as they face the struggles this life continually presents and more importantly, I want for them what HE wants for them. May our Father bless each one of these people as they live lives to glorify HIM.
8. Inner circle - What do you call those friends that you could call at anytime for anything and know they would be there? Those friends who have walked and cried with you and who have cleaned and washed your dishes and maybe even a bathroom or two. Inner circle sounds so elitist and I don’t mean that. But there needs to be a differentiation to those we call friends who we pass in the hall at work or neighbors in the grocery store but they don’t desire to know us and really have no idea who we are on the inside. But when someone invests in us and actually knows some of our darkness and loves us anyway? They gotta be inner circle. Father you have brought people into my life in a way that does not allow me to be the loner I long to be. You knew what I needed and who I needed and I only hope and pray Father that I learn to be as loving and open and willing as these people have been for me in my times of struggles.
9. Parents - I have been blessed with the most amazing parents… who put aside their own wishes and goals to raise two daughters. Even though times were not always easy, they provided for us stability and modeled morality. They were not vocal teachers but visual doers. The old saying do as I say and not as I do .. did not apply to them. They did what they believed.
10. Sister - God gave me one sibling and we have spent our lives proving how different we are even though we came from the same tree. We are 22 months apart and often as different as night and day. But I learn things from her. She is tenacious and brave and strong and gutsy. She was raised by the same people I was… and she often has the exact same reaction to a given situation as I would. On the outside we look different. On the inside, I think we are the same.
11. Children - I am so thankful that God blessed me with children, who bring me deep joy. They actually teach me about who God the Father is as I experience the joys and the struggles of parenting.
12. Grandchildren… all the things they say about them are true. They are the pure joy of children without responsibility. The days I feel responsible are days I need to take a step back. I want them to grow up knowing they are part of a family who loves them deeply. I am their own personal advocate. I will fight for them in any way I need to.
13. Aunts and Uncles - I grew up with a whole slew of aunts and uncles thanks to my Mom’s big family. They each had such different personalities. They had their own struggles at different times. But having them in my life made me a richer person. From the time I was a little girl, they were there…. Some were funny, some were fun, some were serious, some were irresponsible, some were flighty, some were exciting, some were validating, some were testy, some were musical, some were interesting, some were silly, some were great cooks, some were teasers, some were bigger than life, some were not. The ones that are gone, I miss. The ones still here I treasure.
14. Grandparents – I have been so amazingly blessed to have grandparents in my life until the last few years. When I was young, one set was still raising kids. The other set only had my Dad so we were fairly close to them. They are like living history books. Who my parents were had so much to do with who my Grandparents were. I didn’t always know that. I didn’t always appreciate that.
15. Greatgrandparents – Perhaps I am one of the only people I know who grew up knowing my great grandparents. Again, these were people who were living history books. My dad was an only child. His dad was an only child. My great-grandfather, Max came here from Germany with his wife and young son. His wife died and he was a single parent in a world where single men did not raise children. My great-grandma Davis (my Grandma Urban’s mom) lost her husband and still had children to raise. Is that not interesting? Granny and Papa Treas (Grandma Coker’s mom and step dad) lived the longest and I saw them most years growing up. Living history…. Legacies for our family.
16. Family - Ok.. I am over 10. I know that there are many more but I just wanted to pause. Family is important. It defines us, provides us with experiences, becomes our foundation for the lives we will lead. We spend our lives replicating or running away from the places we came from. I am thankful that this family I came from… not all perfect, and in fact we have been as dysfunctional as any other family… but this family gave me that foundation of love that made all the obstacles in life… doable. Thank you, God for family that made me who I am and that all my imperfections are made perfect in you.. in spite of family, because of family. I love each one of them.
17. Spiritual Disciplines – This is the stuff that makes us grow. It is a gift that is totally unexpected. We do these disciplines because we want to be closer to Him but in doing them we learn more of the heart of God. HE grows in us .. we can do these things… fast, pray, service, solitude, meditate, silence till we are old and grey. But God brings us closer to Him. I am grateful for these actions that tie my body to my heart and to my soul.
Here is the hard part. I don’t want to just list all the stuff I love in life… but I will because they do bless my life. If I do not see them I will not see those without them. They must be counted.
18. Morning - I love to slowly wake up and lay in my bed and pray for my family as my brain starts to engage.
19. Walk - I love the morning to walk the neighborhood before the sun comes up, to hear the quiet, and to hear the birds sing and the magnificent fir trees rustling in the wind. To see the moon beginning to set and to know the sun will follow the path to begin the day.
20. Hot shower - I love the feel of a hot shower in the morning on my cold skin… the steam in the bathroom, the warmth of my home. So many folks do not ever experience even clean water. I do not want to take hot water or even water for granted.
21. Saturday mornings - I love staying home on Saturday morning and making coffee and reading the paper. This is the day that there is no urgency… no one waiting and no schedule to keep. My favorite day because I get to make it up as I go along.
22. Coffee - I love a great cup of coffee with friends… coffee shop, my house… warmth and intimacy with people I love. Coffee and conversation go together.
23. Work - I love my job when I can accomplish a some thing… see a problem and get it done. It is not often like that, but when it falls together, it feels good.
24. Touching others - I love being used by God to touch someone. I used to pray regularly that I be able to recognize who He puts in front of me to minister to and then have the courage and love, margin and time to do it. I fail a lot. I succeed only by His grace.
25. Favorite dinners - stir fry- veggies and chicken and rice and chiricachi sauce (rooster sauce, chicken sauce… the hotter the better.)
26. Barbecue - barbecuing with friends…family. Doesn’t matter what. Being outside and the smell of barbecue. It is very good. Chicken, steak, pork chops, hamburgers, hotdogs, or how about sausage..!
27. Ice cream - All time thing to love is homemade ice cream. One of those things we learned to love growing up with church family. “Back in the old days” we cranked that ice cream maker by hand and had to use an ice pick to break up that ice. It took hours of anticipation and a village to make it. Is it done yet? It is so easy now. But it was always about bringing folks together. Thank you, God!
28. TV - I love unwinding by the tv.. mindless gibber with an occasional something of interest.
29. Diet coke - has to be my all time favorite beverage.... caffeine free.
30. Wine - A bottle of wine and a good friend is a good second. Italy has to be the best possible place to share that bottle of wine.
31. Fireplace - I love the evenings that the air is crisp and the only way to get the edge off is to turn on the fire and dream of days long ago when we had to go out and find some wood to keep it going. The wood stove put out this heat that was radiant… you had to find the spot that was not too hot and not too cold. We can use our imagination to smell that smell of the smoky wood. We used to wear shorts in the winter because the house was so toasty. Now I just like to turn the fireplace on by pressing the button.
32. Reading in bed… I used to be able to read a long time before sleep overtook me. Now it is often just a little bit of time before sleep wins the final battle of my day.
33. Holidays – Family dinners and family traditions and being together and enjoying each other…. And even touching those that are not with us. It is a day we take the time to touch.
34. Homemade soup - The turkey soup gets made the day after the turkey dinner. That makes me happiest.. a little way to make the glow of the holiday last just a bit longer.
35. Great smells - The smell of the turkey, the smell of the Christmas trees…. The smell of fresh cut grass, or the smell of certain flowers like the evergreen clematis that smell so strong you can smell it in the house even though it is outside, or the smell of roses….
36. Rainy days – I love the security of the clouds down low and the gentleness of the rain, cleansing the air, the roads, the grass. As storms move thru.. they interrupt our lives with the crescendo of rain pounding the windows, the streets. I love the smell of the world when the clouds lift.
37. Glorious days… when we get to be outside or to be with a good friend and we just feel kissed by God.
38. Sweaty days – when we crash at the end of the day having worked hard and the muscles in our legs and arms are painful .. but we have this sense of just being there one day of creation. We look around and it is good.
By reading the last section of my list you will think I just love to eat and you would be right. But I have learned that people are what makes it all worth while. Without anyone to share all those things, the joy is gone. The apostle Paul talked about being in prison, but his joy was complete because he was with others in life or in spirit. My joy is complete because of the people God has surrounded me with.
This next section seems like the Pharisee part.. that says I am glad that I am not like other people, poor and struggling. Yet who am I if I do not realize that the blessings of material wealth have been given me. I am one of the most wealthy people on this earth. Writing this has allowed me not just to see it, but to know it. If I do not recognize it I will not be thankful for it and realize that because I have been given so much, I have so much to give. SO here goes.
39. Food.. back to my favorite topic. I have never been without. We have eaten beans growing up. In my early married life, I could stretch a pound of hamburger for 3 days. We had to. But I have never been hungry. I have never watched my children with empty bellies look to me for something I could not provide Father, thank you for blessing me and my children in this way and help me to always remember how the rest of the world lives and be more generous with my gifts.
40. House - I grew up in a rather small house. Never knew it was small. In fact, it must have been exactly the right size. It was a house of love. All my life, I have lived in very nice homes. Thank you God for sheltering me so well. Help me to remember my brothers and sisters in places far away who struggle to protect they and their families from the elements, the hot sun, cold nights, bitter rains. Please help me be more generous with my gifts.
41. School - I grew up going to the same schools all my life. We were all fairly middle class. We were a little more diversified in race but it was not anything I ever noticed. All my life I took school for granted. Teachers always showed up and were paid and we got taught. Father, thank you for living in a place where education was an entitlement… something that most of the world does not experience. Help me to be thankful for it and to be more generous with a world who does not believe children should be entitled to anything beyond life. Help me to make a difference.
42. Higher education - No one in my family graduated from college. All generations, I was the first. Never thought much about it at the time. It was a sacrifice for my family in time and energy and cost. But I got to go. My education provided me with choices and afforded me the opportunity to live in a way that I chose and not what was forced upon me. That chance to better myself will have an effect on the generations to follow. Others will go because I went. Thank you, Father for the blessing of that education that will allow me to serve you better.
43. Job - Others have struggled with this job or that. They have left one and perhaps bettered their income and their environment. I have stayed at the one and only job I ever had after college. Perhaps too much change at home held me down. Doesn’t matter. It has been a blessing for me. My ability to stay at the same job has cost and there have been struggles. But during the last 20 years, I was able to see every one of my children’s sports games, stayed home with them when they were sick, walked with Stephanie during many hard days with my granddaughter. I have the trust of my bosses, the time off and the flexibility to do many things that are important to me. It has been a blessing. Thank you Father for the job that allows me to choose my own priorities. That I can serve you first, be a Mother and a Grandmother first and foremost.
Ok… each of the previously mentioned blessings are true blessings in my life. But they are also a cause for guilt. God gave me those things so I can serve HIM .. not so I can enjoy these blessing and forget who His people are. His people are poor and downcast. They are those who need food and shelter and education. So with those blessings are obligations to serve him better and I see those and want to step up and serve who He wants to me to serve. Thank you Father for eyes that see the world and the people you created. Help me with open eyes and willing hands and a loving heart be your hands in this world.
44. Books - I am thankful for books… entertaining books that offer adventure and escape. Challenging books that push me into being something I am not.
45. Words - the gift of communication. Thank you that we have the ability to grapple with concepts and theology and where we are in this universe… but help it not get in the way of who you want us to be.
46. Bicycles.. the best way to see the world. The road gives you sights and smells and perspective that no other transportation will give you. I love that wind that touches my body as I sail down the hill…. I love the silence except my own breath as I chug up the next hill.
47. Computers .. such a powerful tool for information and communication. I do not say relationship. They are terrible for relationships.. I think… But the whole world of information is at our finger tips. The cycle of need, search, access and use of information has increased exponentially in my own lifetime. I love being able to touch my friends who live far away and to do it quickly.
48. Cell phones - We have virtually access to people 24-7. Sometimes that is not so good. But often we are able to touch more people more often. It may not be deep but we do not walk around our lives unconnected anymore.
49. Gardening.. the smell of dirt, the sound of birds, the wonder of new plants each so unique. The beauty of flowers, and perfect vegetables and don’t forget the berries all at your fingertips. Gardening brings me closest to the Garden of Eden.
50. Pottery - Playing with clay… again that smell of dirt. I am terrible at it. But there is something about starting the evening with a block of moldy clay and ending with some thing special, conceived in your minds eye and, molded with your fingers. I love seeing what my friends are creating.
51. Exercise - Funny thing to be thankful for. But consider previous generations had no choice about how their bodies moved. They had to walk for transportation. Their work was generally long and physical. Their bodies wore out at the end of their lives just from how hard they worked. We have almost gone the opposite way. Our bodies do not work much but that affords us the option to determine what we do to keep them moving and in good shape. I like to walk.
52. Quilting - This is a more isolated activity. There are quilts that I would like to make and have spent time designing. However, work and other things continually take their place and this activity gets squeezed out. But it is always there waiting for me to pick it up and begin a new project. The best projects are ones that had a time limit and they had to get done. Why do we work best like that?
53. Sports - That is another weird thing to be thankful for. But sports whether we are participating or observing them is a hallmark of our affluence. It is a time that says whether we are attorneys or accountants or 55 or 12, we are going to agree on some rules and be something else for awhile. We could play hide and seek as kids or as grownups, we could play soccer or football. We could run a marathon or walk the neighborhood. It doesn’t matter except that it transforms us from whatever mundane life we are living and gets us into another plane. It is a good thing.
Ok.. who would have thought it would take so much thought to express thankfulness. The last ones are going to be harder and way more specific to me. You can opt out now….. but they are an exercise that I still consider worthy.
54. Change - Movement… paradigm shift. A few years ago I went to Honduras having never traveled outside the country before. My life changed. There was BH and AH, before and after. I learned that there are people all over this world that God absolutely loves every bit as much as I, and that I in my fat happy life in Oregon have a responsibility to touch and serve those who have less than I. Tough shift. Father I am so grateful for change and for your changing me and who I am and how I see things. I want to be more like you and so I need to see the world thru your eyes. That seems impossible. The next best way is for me to move. Help me be brave because I am not. Help me to keep looking for ways to serve.
55. This big beautiful world. I have been to Italy. The country side is beautiful. Guatemala.. a country of volcanoes… many still alive. The beaches of Trujillo. He created in 6 days at the beginning of time a world so magnificent and seeing His handiwork helps me know Him.
56. Ruins of civilizations - In Italy the ruins are of the Roman coliseum and many old churches. In Honduras there is Copan .. the ruins of the ancient Mayan civilizations, sophisticated beyond all expectations. They are a powerful reminder that all we have and see around us, will one day crumble. Will the people of the future have any knowledge of who we were and what was important to us?
57. Art - Ancient art is amazing and I am not that much of an art person.. but much of the bible was taught thru artists rendition of the Latin and Greek manuscripts of the Catholic church. The average peasant did not read and would not have had access to books if they had been invented. So painters painted the stories, sculptors conveyed the power of God within a statue. And thousands of years later… we still see the message.
58. People - The people of the world enrich us. We think everyone might be like us.. living in our own little rat races, work, home, workout, grocery stores. IT is not like that at all! People have harder lives in most of the world. They struggle with putting food on the table and teaching their children to reach for more. Knowing how hard it is for so many makes me look around and appreciate my life in a different way and also wonder what I must give up to make a difference.
59. Children - we have so failed when we enjoy our riches and fail to think of hungry children. I met a little girl in Honduras laying on a cement bed.. who had recently been blinded by a tumor on her spine. She was 12 and she could have been saved had she had even a little medical care a few years earlier. She had the voice of an angel and did not fear dying at all. We must take care of our children… not yours and mine.. but the children of this world. Christ said we must be like them… it is not about toys. It is about their ability to see Him. Children give the world the opportunity to start over.
60. The churches of Honduras that I have worshipped with… I am so thankful to know that worship is not about understanding or about my own enrichment. That hearing the Word of God in another language is still the Word and our hearts hear what our ears cannot understand. Their singing is to God and how it is to hear singing that is for Him and not for us. In the US we sing quietly and be careful to not be off key. In Latino churches we are not the object of those songs. Father, I am so grateful for the times I have worshipped with those who put aside all the worries of what people will think and who just want to Glorify Your Name.
61. Weather… in Oregon we live with rain and it makes our world green, our mountains magnificent, our trees clothed in every color. But imagine our God who created Trujillo… so humid your towel and your skin feel the same after a rain shower or a real shower… but green and jungle-ey. Imagine the arid deserts in Africa and the mountains of the Andes… and the frigid ice in Greenland. Thank you Father, for your imagination and for painting the skies into glorious days…anywhere in this world…with a brush only you could think of.
62. A world that is more than black and white. I am so glad that right and wrong is not measured in an absolute yard stick but in a continuum where I am called to find my own place, my own line in this life. Are Christians only Democrats or only Republicans? Is abortion always wrong and are homosexuals always going to hell? We get to wrestle with our own issues and along the way learn that there are few absolutes outside of God’s love. Thank you Father for teaching me about love first and love only. Help me to practice love.
63. Ring - Thank you for Grandma’s mother’s ring.. a reminder of children and of ancestors and of my own place in the family tree… a tree that grows and towers and in its time withers and dies..
64. My Mom - Thank you for a Mom that is so affirming and encouraging and compassionate and caring. And a Dad who is so giving all the time and is always there when I need him. I appreciate having parents in my life who are accessible and still a wonderful part of my life.
65. Stephanie - Thank you for a daughter who is strong and sensitive and who pitches in and gives as often as she takes. Thank you for hours of joy so long ago and how she taught me about motherhood, holding and rocking, reading and singing. AND thank you for all my hopes and joys for her as she grew up and later had a mind all her own. Thank you for all the new directions she pulled me as she explored the world around her. Thank you for letting me see the cycle start again as she held her own babies, holding and rocking, reading and singing.
66. Joshua - Thank you for the son who was a total anomaly to me.. what are little boys made of? I didn’t know. But he was loving and passionate and born going a hundred miles an hour. It was hard to keep up. He laughed and played and hugged and hurt and loved some more. What a blessing it was to watch a little boy grow into a man.
67. Rachael - Thank you for the bonus child.. the one that I couldn’t live without. She was the one that I stopped to enjoy… she was quieter and more introspective. She planned and organized and took her road.. the harder one to be sure.. but did it with grace and deliberateness.
68. Being a Mom - Being a Mom changed me from day one… I knew that the old person would never do. That the mother of these children I had been entrusted with was required to be a person worthy somehow. So I grew and I tried to be something more than I was. All the ways I failed are so apparent to me. But there is still the joy of these human beings, of the small part I had in their lives, to see them grow to adulthood. Thank you, Father for making me more than I am to parent these children. Forgive all the times I fell short. And please make up for all those shortcomings with your grace.
69. Dreams – not the dreams that I dream at night.. the bizarre twisted chasing and epic light versus dark sagas that make me wake up tired each morning. But the dreams that involve the hope of a better tomorrow. The dreams that allow us to reach higher than we dared to think in rational thought. I am not talking about dreaming about the lottery, although those thoughts have been quite entertaining.. what would YOU do with a million dollars? But how to work and change and be more effective and with the help of a loving God be that someone who makes a difference. Those are my dreams. Some days those dreams seem to be true.
70. Health – I am blessed with good health. Age is happening but my body is holding up, still. Father, thank you for the excellent health that you have given me my whole life.
71. The good health of my parents – This day my parents have enjoyed long healthy lives. They are active and able to do as they choose. This is a blessing for daughters who want what is good for them and secretly hope that someday soon “what is best for them” will include living nearby.
72. Colonoscopies – Not my favorite thing but I am grateful that we have access to care and a medical system that works at prevention and early detection and that I as an individual can afford healthcare. Father, for this I am truly thankful.
73. Wisdom – As part of the whole aging process, we think wisdom comes. But it does not always. It may not be wisdom but experience. Thank you Father for a lifetime of loving relationships and experiences to help me to grow and serve you.
74. Age – I like the idea of looking young. But I am grateful for where I am. God is so good to me and He has been patient with me and it has taken me so many tough lessons to get to where I am.
75. Friends - Linda, Bob & Connie, Kathy, Connie, Marian, Carolyn, Diane, Laurel, Rustee, Juanita, Martha, Nader, Lavella, Loretta, Sue, Mary, Janet, Lola, Kay, Ron, Bonnie, Dann, Bill, Bill, Melinda, Roma, Janet, Mel, Tabi, Kitty, Judy, Tina, Dustin, Rick,….. What a lucky blessed person I am to have so many loved ones in my life. This cannot be said enough.
76. Answered Prayers – This is a visual .. I can look at my granddaughter’s face any day and know that He answers my prayers. Her life is a prayer. Because of all the impossibilities that she has shown are possible IF God is watching and holding and keeping her in the palm of His hands.
77. The prayers of strangers - must be a very special thing and for those we have been blessed. Father, blessed is your Name! Thank you for all the times your will has been altered because of the requests of the faithful. May we always ask and may it always be Your will in the end. And may we say always, Blessed is Your Name!
78. Children sleeping – Whether they be my own children, or grandchildren, or someone else’s child.. there is something so wonderful about a sleeping child. May we let go of our worries and fears.
79. Bible classes – that push me to stretch and move. That make me change and I need changing. What a blessing.
80. THOSE FRIENDS – that were listed above. They are not just my pleasure but they are people I learn from. They are people who love and struggle and have been victorious and I am richer just to walk along side of them.
81. Rich green grass – and mysterious mountains, tall fir trees and the palms that wave in the wind. Trees filled with delicious fruits that enrich our dinner tables to the annual vegetables that we cultivate specially.
82. Flowers – Daffodils and tulips in the spring… showing their royalty amidst a bare winter landscape. Hydrangeas in the summer, overflowing their bounty. Roses that smell beautiful and show every color you could want. Lavender that is rich….
83. Purple Robe tree – I don’t have one.. but there is a beautiful one in front of BobnCon’s house. Long ago I tried to get one to grow and it was just stunted. But theirs is magnificent and it presides over the whole street and the purple flowers erupt in the spring.. slowly hidden between the green leaves and they keep blooming and until the purple is just vivid and beautiful.
84. Palm trees - because they are usually found near the equator. And My favorite place is near the equator.. Honduras.
85. Love – Love is a very complicated emotion.. there is the kind that is about me and then there is the kind that is about us and then there is the kind that is about you. As a very selfish person… it has come to me that I have been given all, been blessed beyond anyone’s right to ask for more and the love that I want inside of me is about you… about anyone else. It is the hardest one. At the end of this life it may happen.
86. Joy – the joy of the Lord is my strength
87. Spanish - this is a bit of a thorn. I reach to learn it and it is hard. I am grateful for the challenge and purpose… not that I can reach and teach but that I can be with these folks and know something of them and that I can touch if I try. Alas I am old and should have started younger.. (ok I started younger but did not stay on it). I appreciate the opportunity to keep at it.
88. Travel - teaches me always about the Father who created.
89. Being part of A & B’s life – how lucky I have been and how special they are. I love spending time with them, picking them up from school and hearing about their days, watching their sports and just talking to them and hearing where they are at and who they are and what worries them and what they are sad about.
90. A is turning 13 in 2 months. I think of all of our fears and we have worked very hard to enjoy today and not shake at the future. Yet each day with her is one of joy. She is such a unique person.. from day one.. she attracted people because she had an aura around her that pulled people in. She is bouncy and energetic and full of dreams and hopes and faith beyond her years.
91. Addiction - My friend, D has wrestled hard with addiction this year and for the grace of God, he is winning. May he continue that fight and find out that God don't make junk. He is amazing and strong in his convictions.... He is making a difference in others.
92. Cancer - Ron is figuring out how to live with cancer with grace. It is amazing to think how bad it looked and how easy it seems, now. God is awesome and we have been blessed by his tenaciousness and by his desire to continue teaching us. May we soak in those lessons that he felt so compelled to teach us.
93. Mark and Brenda - who took a chance on a stranger and changed my life. They are the ones who gave up the cushy life of middle class Americans and stepped into a third world country and believed that their feeble efforts just might make a difference for a child and glorify God, too. I am grateful for the testimony of their life. Meredith - one of our Westside kids as a grown woman... prepared herself to make a difference and then had the courage and self discipline to go and actually live her faith. There are many like them... we need to support them. If we are not goers then we need to be supporters. Thank you God that I have the means to be a supporter.
Ok.. here is the story. I have not run out of blessings and things to be thankful for. I have exhausted my ability to discern them and name them. But in doing this I have learned how wealthy I am and that no matter what I have or don’t have, God has placed me here at this time in this way to make a difference. And with the vast resources of blessings I have… there is no reason in the world to not step forward and become an agent of change. Even if I change things for one person, my efforts will not be in vain..
The bottom line is gratitude is not passive.... May I not live a pssive life.
1. Jesus - He should always be at my #1 spot but often is not. I am forgetful and often forget His sacrifice on the cross so that I might be saved from my own sinfulness. His gift to me is overwhelming… Father, may I remember Him more and myself less.
2. A Loving God – God is love. I think at the end of it all…Our God is a loving Father and not the angry vice-principal. He sent His son to show us the way.
3. A Spirit who fills us – we have not been left to deal with this hard world by ourselves.
4. Salvation - That hope that we have deep inside us that lets us know that no matter who we are and where we have been and what we have done, we have a loving Father who has promised us a life on the other side that will make the struggles of this life pale away in comparison. Father, thank you for the hope you have given us in your Son. May I show that hope as I live my life.
5. Grace - Back to that “no matter who we are and where we have been and what we have done” He loves us anyway. That I am undeserving of grace is true. That I have been given grace anyway… Priceless!
6. My church family – they are like all families, imperfect. But most every day I can see Jesus in the service of their hands, in the words on their lips, and the songs on their hearts. They give me the tangible Jesus to look at and see and a place to belong.
7. Spiritual disciplines group – I cannot tell you how much these people mean to me. Over the years we have walked together thru good times and dark times, we have cried together, laughed together, loved on each other with the agape love that we are growing into. More importantly we have grown spiritually, been challenged and changed, and hopefully continue to be transformed into HIS likeness. These people are my chosen family and I appreciate every single day God puts us together. I want the best for each one of them as they face the struggles this life continually presents and more importantly, I want for them what HE wants for them. May our Father bless each one of these people as they live lives to glorify HIM.
8. Inner circle - What do you call those friends that you could call at anytime for anything and know they would be there? Those friends who have walked and cried with you and who have cleaned and washed your dishes and maybe even a bathroom or two. Inner circle sounds so elitist and I don’t mean that. But there needs to be a differentiation to those we call friends who we pass in the hall at work or neighbors in the grocery store but they don’t desire to know us and really have no idea who we are on the inside. But when someone invests in us and actually knows some of our darkness and loves us anyway? They gotta be inner circle. Father you have brought people into my life in a way that does not allow me to be the loner I long to be. You knew what I needed and who I needed and I only hope and pray Father that I learn to be as loving and open and willing as these people have been for me in my times of struggles.
9. Parents - I have been blessed with the most amazing parents… who put aside their own wishes and goals to raise two daughters. Even though times were not always easy, they provided for us stability and modeled morality. They were not vocal teachers but visual doers. The old saying do as I say and not as I do .. did not apply to them. They did what they believed.
10. Sister - God gave me one sibling and we have spent our lives proving how different we are even though we came from the same tree. We are 22 months apart and often as different as night and day. But I learn things from her. She is tenacious and brave and strong and gutsy. She was raised by the same people I was… and she often has the exact same reaction to a given situation as I would. On the outside we look different. On the inside, I think we are the same.
11. Children - I am so thankful that God blessed me with children, who bring me deep joy. They actually teach me about who God the Father is as I experience the joys and the struggles of parenting.
12. Grandchildren… all the things they say about them are true. They are the pure joy of children without responsibility. The days I feel responsible are days I need to take a step back. I want them to grow up knowing they are part of a family who loves them deeply. I am their own personal advocate. I will fight for them in any way I need to.
13. Aunts and Uncles - I grew up with a whole slew of aunts and uncles thanks to my Mom’s big family. They each had such different personalities. They had their own struggles at different times. But having them in my life made me a richer person. From the time I was a little girl, they were there…. Some were funny, some were fun, some were serious, some were irresponsible, some were flighty, some were exciting, some were validating, some were testy, some were musical, some were interesting, some were silly, some were great cooks, some were teasers, some were bigger than life, some were not. The ones that are gone, I miss. The ones still here I treasure.
14. Grandparents – I have been so amazingly blessed to have grandparents in my life until the last few years. When I was young, one set was still raising kids. The other set only had my Dad so we were fairly close to them. They are like living history books. Who my parents were had so much to do with who my Grandparents were. I didn’t always know that. I didn’t always appreciate that.
15. Greatgrandparents – Perhaps I am one of the only people I know who grew up knowing my great grandparents. Again, these were people who were living history books. My dad was an only child. His dad was an only child. My great-grandfather, Max came here from Germany with his wife and young son. His wife died and he was a single parent in a world where single men did not raise children. My great-grandma Davis (my Grandma Urban’s mom) lost her husband and still had children to raise. Is that not interesting? Granny and Papa Treas (Grandma Coker’s mom and step dad) lived the longest and I saw them most years growing up. Living history…. Legacies for our family.
16. Family - Ok.. I am over 10. I know that there are many more but I just wanted to pause. Family is important. It defines us, provides us with experiences, becomes our foundation for the lives we will lead. We spend our lives replicating or running away from the places we came from. I am thankful that this family I came from… not all perfect, and in fact we have been as dysfunctional as any other family… but this family gave me that foundation of love that made all the obstacles in life… doable. Thank you, God for family that made me who I am and that all my imperfections are made perfect in you.. in spite of family, because of family. I love each one of them.
17. Spiritual Disciplines – This is the stuff that makes us grow. It is a gift that is totally unexpected. We do these disciplines because we want to be closer to Him but in doing them we learn more of the heart of God. HE grows in us .. we can do these things… fast, pray, service, solitude, meditate, silence till we are old and grey. But God brings us closer to Him. I am grateful for these actions that tie my body to my heart and to my soul.
Here is the hard part. I don’t want to just list all the stuff I love in life… but I will because they do bless my life. If I do not see them I will not see those without them. They must be counted.
18. Morning - I love to slowly wake up and lay in my bed and pray for my family as my brain starts to engage.
19. Walk - I love the morning to walk the neighborhood before the sun comes up, to hear the quiet, and to hear the birds sing and the magnificent fir trees rustling in the wind. To see the moon beginning to set and to know the sun will follow the path to begin the day.
20. Hot shower - I love the feel of a hot shower in the morning on my cold skin… the steam in the bathroom, the warmth of my home. So many folks do not ever experience even clean water. I do not want to take hot water or even water for granted.
21. Saturday mornings - I love staying home on Saturday morning and making coffee and reading the paper. This is the day that there is no urgency… no one waiting and no schedule to keep. My favorite day because I get to make it up as I go along.
22. Coffee - I love a great cup of coffee with friends… coffee shop, my house… warmth and intimacy with people I love. Coffee and conversation go together.
23. Work - I love my job when I can accomplish a some thing… see a problem and get it done. It is not often like that, but when it falls together, it feels good.
24. Touching others - I love being used by God to touch someone. I used to pray regularly that I be able to recognize who He puts in front of me to minister to and then have the courage and love, margin and time to do it. I fail a lot. I succeed only by His grace.
25. Favorite dinners - stir fry- veggies and chicken and rice and chiricachi sauce (rooster sauce, chicken sauce… the hotter the better.)
26. Barbecue - barbecuing with friends…family. Doesn’t matter what. Being outside and the smell of barbecue. It is very good. Chicken, steak, pork chops, hamburgers, hotdogs, or how about sausage..!
27. Ice cream - All time thing to love is homemade ice cream. One of those things we learned to love growing up with church family. “Back in the old days” we cranked that ice cream maker by hand and had to use an ice pick to break up that ice. It took hours of anticipation and a village to make it. Is it done yet? It is so easy now. But it was always about bringing folks together. Thank you, God!
28. TV - I love unwinding by the tv.. mindless gibber with an occasional something of interest.
29. Diet coke - has to be my all time favorite beverage.... caffeine free.
30. Wine - A bottle of wine and a good friend is a good second. Italy has to be the best possible place to share that bottle of wine.
31. Fireplace - I love the evenings that the air is crisp and the only way to get the edge off is to turn on the fire and dream of days long ago when we had to go out and find some wood to keep it going. The wood stove put out this heat that was radiant… you had to find the spot that was not too hot and not too cold. We can use our imagination to smell that smell of the smoky wood. We used to wear shorts in the winter because the house was so toasty. Now I just like to turn the fireplace on by pressing the button.
32. Reading in bed… I used to be able to read a long time before sleep overtook me. Now it is often just a little bit of time before sleep wins the final battle of my day.
33. Holidays – Family dinners and family traditions and being together and enjoying each other…. And even touching those that are not with us. It is a day we take the time to touch.
34. Homemade soup - The turkey soup gets made the day after the turkey dinner. That makes me happiest.. a little way to make the glow of the holiday last just a bit longer.
35. Great smells - The smell of the turkey, the smell of the Christmas trees…. The smell of fresh cut grass, or the smell of certain flowers like the evergreen clematis that smell so strong you can smell it in the house even though it is outside, or the smell of roses….
36. Rainy days – I love the security of the clouds down low and the gentleness of the rain, cleansing the air, the roads, the grass. As storms move thru.. they interrupt our lives with the crescendo of rain pounding the windows, the streets. I love the smell of the world when the clouds lift.
37. Glorious days… when we get to be outside or to be with a good friend and we just feel kissed by God.
38. Sweaty days – when we crash at the end of the day having worked hard and the muscles in our legs and arms are painful .. but we have this sense of just being there one day of creation. We look around and it is good.
By reading the last section of my list you will think I just love to eat and you would be right. But I have learned that people are what makes it all worth while. Without anyone to share all those things, the joy is gone. The apostle Paul talked about being in prison, but his joy was complete because he was with others in life or in spirit. My joy is complete because of the people God has surrounded me with.
This next section seems like the Pharisee part.. that says I am glad that I am not like other people, poor and struggling. Yet who am I if I do not realize that the blessings of material wealth have been given me. I am one of the most wealthy people on this earth. Writing this has allowed me not just to see it, but to know it. If I do not recognize it I will not be thankful for it and realize that because I have been given so much, I have so much to give. SO here goes.
39. Food.. back to my favorite topic. I have never been without. We have eaten beans growing up. In my early married life, I could stretch a pound of hamburger for 3 days. We had to. But I have never been hungry. I have never watched my children with empty bellies look to me for something I could not provide Father, thank you for blessing me and my children in this way and help me to always remember how the rest of the world lives and be more generous with my gifts.
40. House - I grew up in a rather small house. Never knew it was small. In fact, it must have been exactly the right size. It was a house of love. All my life, I have lived in very nice homes. Thank you God for sheltering me so well. Help me to remember my brothers and sisters in places far away who struggle to protect they and their families from the elements, the hot sun, cold nights, bitter rains. Please help me be more generous with my gifts.
41. School - I grew up going to the same schools all my life. We were all fairly middle class. We were a little more diversified in race but it was not anything I ever noticed. All my life I took school for granted. Teachers always showed up and were paid and we got taught. Father, thank you for living in a place where education was an entitlement… something that most of the world does not experience. Help me to be thankful for it and to be more generous with a world who does not believe children should be entitled to anything beyond life. Help me to make a difference.
42. Higher education - No one in my family graduated from college. All generations, I was the first. Never thought much about it at the time. It was a sacrifice for my family in time and energy and cost. But I got to go. My education provided me with choices and afforded me the opportunity to live in a way that I chose and not what was forced upon me. That chance to better myself will have an effect on the generations to follow. Others will go because I went. Thank you, Father for the blessing of that education that will allow me to serve you better.
43. Job - Others have struggled with this job or that. They have left one and perhaps bettered their income and their environment. I have stayed at the one and only job I ever had after college. Perhaps too much change at home held me down. Doesn’t matter. It has been a blessing for me. My ability to stay at the same job has cost and there have been struggles. But during the last 20 years, I was able to see every one of my children’s sports games, stayed home with them when they were sick, walked with Stephanie during many hard days with my granddaughter. I have the trust of my bosses, the time off and the flexibility to do many things that are important to me. It has been a blessing. Thank you Father for the job that allows me to choose my own priorities. That I can serve you first, be a Mother and a Grandmother first and foremost.
Ok… each of the previously mentioned blessings are true blessings in my life. But they are also a cause for guilt. God gave me those things so I can serve HIM .. not so I can enjoy these blessing and forget who His people are. His people are poor and downcast. They are those who need food and shelter and education. So with those blessings are obligations to serve him better and I see those and want to step up and serve who He wants to me to serve. Thank you Father for eyes that see the world and the people you created. Help me with open eyes and willing hands and a loving heart be your hands in this world.
44. Books - I am thankful for books… entertaining books that offer adventure and escape. Challenging books that push me into being something I am not.
45. Words - the gift of communication. Thank you that we have the ability to grapple with concepts and theology and where we are in this universe… but help it not get in the way of who you want us to be.
46. Bicycles.. the best way to see the world. The road gives you sights and smells and perspective that no other transportation will give you. I love that wind that touches my body as I sail down the hill…. I love the silence except my own breath as I chug up the next hill.
47. Computers .. such a powerful tool for information and communication. I do not say relationship. They are terrible for relationships.. I think… But the whole world of information is at our finger tips. The cycle of need, search, access and use of information has increased exponentially in my own lifetime. I love being able to touch my friends who live far away and to do it quickly.
48. Cell phones - We have virtually access to people 24-7. Sometimes that is not so good. But often we are able to touch more people more often. It may not be deep but we do not walk around our lives unconnected anymore.
49. Gardening.. the smell of dirt, the sound of birds, the wonder of new plants each so unique. The beauty of flowers, and perfect vegetables and don’t forget the berries all at your fingertips. Gardening brings me closest to the Garden of Eden.
50. Pottery - Playing with clay… again that smell of dirt. I am terrible at it. But there is something about starting the evening with a block of moldy clay and ending with some thing special, conceived in your minds eye and, molded with your fingers. I love seeing what my friends are creating.
51. Exercise - Funny thing to be thankful for. But consider previous generations had no choice about how their bodies moved. They had to walk for transportation. Their work was generally long and physical. Their bodies wore out at the end of their lives just from how hard they worked. We have almost gone the opposite way. Our bodies do not work much but that affords us the option to determine what we do to keep them moving and in good shape. I like to walk.
52. Quilting - This is a more isolated activity. There are quilts that I would like to make and have spent time designing. However, work and other things continually take their place and this activity gets squeezed out. But it is always there waiting for me to pick it up and begin a new project. The best projects are ones that had a time limit and they had to get done. Why do we work best like that?
53. Sports - That is another weird thing to be thankful for. But sports whether we are participating or observing them is a hallmark of our affluence. It is a time that says whether we are attorneys or accountants or 55 or 12, we are going to agree on some rules and be something else for awhile. We could play hide and seek as kids or as grownups, we could play soccer or football. We could run a marathon or walk the neighborhood. It doesn’t matter except that it transforms us from whatever mundane life we are living and gets us into another plane. It is a good thing.
Ok.. who would have thought it would take so much thought to express thankfulness. The last ones are going to be harder and way more specific to me. You can opt out now….. but they are an exercise that I still consider worthy.
54. Change - Movement… paradigm shift. A few years ago I went to Honduras having never traveled outside the country before. My life changed. There was BH and AH, before and after. I learned that there are people all over this world that God absolutely loves every bit as much as I, and that I in my fat happy life in Oregon have a responsibility to touch and serve those who have less than I. Tough shift. Father I am so grateful for change and for your changing me and who I am and how I see things. I want to be more like you and so I need to see the world thru your eyes. That seems impossible. The next best way is for me to move. Help me be brave because I am not. Help me to keep looking for ways to serve.
55. This big beautiful world. I have been to Italy. The country side is beautiful. Guatemala.. a country of volcanoes… many still alive. The beaches of Trujillo. He created in 6 days at the beginning of time a world so magnificent and seeing His handiwork helps me know Him.
56. Ruins of civilizations - In Italy the ruins are of the Roman coliseum and many old churches. In Honduras there is Copan .. the ruins of the ancient Mayan civilizations, sophisticated beyond all expectations. They are a powerful reminder that all we have and see around us, will one day crumble. Will the people of the future have any knowledge of who we were and what was important to us?
57. Art - Ancient art is amazing and I am not that much of an art person.. but much of the bible was taught thru artists rendition of the Latin and Greek manuscripts of the Catholic church. The average peasant did not read and would not have had access to books if they had been invented. So painters painted the stories, sculptors conveyed the power of God within a statue. And thousands of years later… we still see the message.
58. People - The people of the world enrich us. We think everyone might be like us.. living in our own little rat races, work, home, workout, grocery stores. IT is not like that at all! People have harder lives in most of the world. They struggle with putting food on the table and teaching their children to reach for more. Knowing how hard it is for so many makes me look around and appreciate my life in a different way and also wonder what I must give up to make a difference.
59. Children - we have so failed when we enjoy our riches and fail to think of hungry children. I met a little girl in Honduras laying on a cement bed.. who had recently been blinded by a tumor on her spine. She was 12 and she could have been saved had she had even a little medical care a few years earlier. She had the voice of an angel and did not fear dying at all. We must take care of our children… not yours and mine.. but the children of this world. Christ said we must be like them… it is not about toys. It is about their ability to see Him. Children give the world the opportunity to start over.
60. The churches of Honduras that I have worshipped with… I am so thankful to know that worship is not about understanding or about my own enrichment. That hearing the Word of God in another language is still the Word and our hearts hear what our ears cannot understand. Their singing is to God and how it is to hear singing that is for Him and not for us. In the US we sing quietly and be careful to not be off key. In Latino churches we are not the object of those songs. Father, I am so grateful for the times I have worshipped with those who put aside all the worries of what people will think and who just want to Glorify Your Name.
61. Weather… in Oregon we live with rain and it makes our world green, our mountains magnificent, our trees clothed in every color. But imagine our God who created Trujillo… so humid your towel and your skin feel the same after a rain shower or a real shower… but green and jungle-ey. Imagine the arid deserts in Africa and the mountains of the Andes… and the frigid ice in Greenland. Thank you Father, for your imagination and for painting the skies into glorious days…anywhere in this world…with a brush only you could think of.
62. A world that is more than black and white. I am so glad that right and wrong is not measured in an absolute yard stick but in a continuum where I am called to find my own place, my own line in this life. Are Christians only Democrats or only Republicans? Is abortion always wrong and are homosexuals always going to hell? We get to wrestle with our own issues and along the way learn that there are few absolutes outside of God’s love. Thank you Father for teaching me about love first and love only. Help me to practice love.
63. Ring - Thank you for Grandma’s mother’s ring.. a reminder of children and of ancestors and of my own place in the family tree… a tree that grows and towers and in its time withers and dies..
64. My Mom - Thank you for a Mom that is so affirming and encouraging and compassionate and caring. And a Dad who is so giving all the time and is always there when I need him. I appreciate having parents in my life who are accessible and still a wonderful part of my life.
65. Stephanie - Thank you for a daughter who is strong and sensitive and who pitches in and gives as often as she takes. Thank you for hours of joy so long ago and how she taught me about motherhood, holding and rocking, reading and singing. AND thank you for all my hopes and joys for her as she grew up and later had a mind all her own. Thank you for all the new directions she pulled me as she explored the world around her. Thank you for letting me see the cycle start again as she held her own babies, holding and rocking, reading and singing.
66. Joshua - Thank you for the son who was a total anomaly to me.. what are little boys made of? I didn’t know. But he was loving and passionate and born going a hundred miles an hour. It was hard to keep up. He laughed and played and hugged and hurt and loved some more. What a blessing it was to watch a little boy grow into a man.
67. Rachael - Thank you for the bonus child.. the one that I couldn’t live without. She was the one that I stopped to enjoy… she was quieter and more introspective. She planned and organized and took her road.. the harder one to be sure.. but did it with grace and deliberateness.
68. Being a Mom - Being a Mom changed me from day one… I knew that the old person would never do. That the mother of these children I had been entrusted with was required to be a person worthy somehow. So I grew and I tried to be something more than I was. All the ways I failed are so apparent to me. But there is still the joy of these human beings, of the small part I had in their lives, to see them grow to adulthood. Thank you, Father for making me more than I am to parent these children. Forgive all the times I fell short. And please make up for all those shortcomings with your grace.
69. Dreams – not the dreams that I dream at night.. the bizarre twisted chasing and epic light versus dark sagas that make me wake up tired each morning. But the dreams that involve the hope of a better tomorrow. The dreams that allow us to reach higher than we dared to think in rational thought. I am not talking about dreaming about the lottery, although those thoughts have been quite entertaining.. what would YOU do with a million dollars? But how to work and change and be more effective and with the help of a loving God be that someone who makes a difference. Those are my dreams. Some days those dreams seem to be true.
70. Health – I am blessed with good health. Age is happening but my body is holding up, still. Father, thank you for the excellent health that you have given me my whole life.
71. The good health of my parents – This day my parents have enjoyed long healthy lives. They are active and able to do as they choose. This is a blessing for daughters who want what is good for them and secretly hope that someday soon “what is best for them” will include living nearby.
72. Colonoscopies – Not my favorite thing but I am grateful that we have access to care and a medical system that works at prevention and early detection and that I as an individual can afford healthcare. Father, for this I am truly thankful.
73. Wisdom – As part of the whole aging process, we think wisdom comes. But it does not always. It may not be wisdom but experience. Thank you Father for a lifetime of loving relationships and experiences to help me to grow and serve you.
74. Age – I like the idea of looking young. But I am grateful for where I am. God is so good to me and He has been patient with me and it has taken me so many tough lessons to get to where I am.
75. Friends - Linda, Bob & Connie, Kathy, Connie, Marian, Carolyn, Diane, Laurel, Rustee, Juanita, Martha, Nader, Lavella, Loretta, Sue, Mary, Janet, Lola, Kay, Ron, Bonnie, Dann, Bill, Bill, Melinda, Roma, Janet, Mel, Tabi, Kitty, Judy, Tina, Dustin, Rick,….. What a lucky blessed person I am to have so many loved ones in my life. This cannot be said enough.
76. Answered Prayers – This is a visual .. I can look at my granddaughter’s face any day and know that He answers my prayers. Her life is a prayer. Because of all the impossibilities that she has shown are possible IF God is watching and holding and keeping her in the palm of His hands.
77. The prayers of strangers - must be a very special thing and for those we have been blessed. Father, blessed is your Name! Thank you for all the times your will has been altered because of the requests of the faithful. May we always ask and may it always be Your will in the end. And may we say always, Blessed is Your Name!
78. Children sleeping – Whether they be my own children, or grandchildren, or someone else’s child.. there is something so wonderful about a sleeping child. May we let go of our worries and fears.
79. Bible classes – that push me to stretch and move. That make me change and I need changing. What a blessing.
80. THOSE FRIENDS – that were listed above. They are not just my pleasure but they are people I learn from. They are people who love and struggle and have been victorious and I am richer just to walk along side of them.
81. Rich green grass – and mysterious mountains, tall fir trees and the palms that wave in the wind. Trees filled with delicious fruits that enrich our dinner tables to the annual vegetables that we cultivate specially.
82. Flowers – Daffodils and tulips in the spring… showing their royalty amidst a bare winter landscape. Hydrangeas in the summer, overflowing their bounty. Roses that smell beautiful and show every color you could want. Lavender that is rich….
83. Purple Robe tree – I don’t have one.. but there is a beautiful one in front of BobnCon’s house. Long ago I tried to get one to grow and it was just stunted. But theirs is magnificent and it presides over the whole street and the purple flowers erupt in the spring.. slowly hidden between the green leaves and they keep blooming and until the purple is just vivid and beautiful.
84. Palm trees - because they are usually found near the equator. And My favorite place is near the equator.. Honduras.
85. Love – Love is a very complicated emotion.. there is the kind that is about me and then there is the kind that is about us and then there is the kind that is about you. As a very selfish person… it has come to me that I have been given all, been blessed beyond anyone’s right to ask for more and the love that I want inside of me is about you… about anyone else. It is the hardest one. At the end of this life it may happen.
86. Joy – the joy of the Lord is my strength
87. Spanish - this is a bit of a thorn. I reach to learn it and it is hard. I am grateful for the challenge and purpose… not that I can reach and teach but that I can be with these folks and know something of them and that I can touch if I try. Alas I am old and should have started younger.. (ok I started younger but did not stay on it). I appreciate the opportunity to keep at it.
88. Travel - teaches me always about the Father who created.
89. Being part of A & B’s life – how lucky I have been and how special they are. I love spending time with them, picking them up from school and hearing about their days, watching their sports and just talking to them and hearing where they are at and who they are and what worries them and what they are sad about.
90. A is turning 13 in 2 months. I think of all of our fears and we have worked very hard to enjoy today and not shake at the future. Yet each day with her is one of joy. She is such a unique person.. from day one.. she attracted people because she had an aura around her that pulled people in. She is bouncy and energetic and full of dreams and hopes and faith beyond her years.
91. Addiction - My friend, D has wrestled hard with addiction this year and for the grace of God, he is winning. May he continue that fight and find out that God don't make junk. He is amazing and strong in his convictions.... He is making a difference in others.
92. Cancer - Ron is figuring out how to live with cancer with grace. It is amazing to think how bad it looked and how easy it seems, now. God is awesome and we have been blessed by his tenaciousness and by his desire to continue teaching us. May we soak in those lessons that he felt so compelled to teach us.
93. Mark and Brenda - who took a chance on a stranger and changed my life. They are the ones who gave up the cushy life of middle class Americans and stepped into a third world country and believed that their feeble efforts just might make a difference for a child and glorify God, too. I am grateful for the testimony of their life. Meredith - one of our Westside kids as a grown woman... prepared herself to make a difference and then had the courage and self discipline to go and actually live her faith. There are many like them... we need to support them. If we are not goers then we need to be supporters. Thank you God that I have the means to be a supporter.
Ok.. here is the story. I have not run out of blessings and things to be thankful for. I have exhausted my ability to discern them and name them. But in doing this I have learned how wealthy I am and that no matter what I have or don’t have, God has placed me here at this time in this way to make a difference. And with the vast resources of blessings I have… there is no reason in the world to not step forward and become an agent of change. Even if I change things for one person, my efforts will not be in vain..
The bottom line is gratitude is not passive.... May I not live a pssive life.
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