Today is his birthday... January 17th. So this is a REPOST
In continuing this theme, I want to write about my father-in-law.
It is hard to know where to start when writing about someone. Is it their physical appearance? I can tell you that he changed over the years.... went from someone at the height of his career to someone who should have been seeking retirement. Is it his name? That, believe it or not, was hard to pin down. Was it who he was? Like all of us, he was evolving and constantly changing. Was it what he liked to do? Again, that changed, too. What he wore? Oh there are plenty of things to talk about. Will any of it tell you who he was?
First, his name. The last business card he had said his name is G. "Don" Osborne. I believe his name was Garland Darrell Osborne but I think his name could have been Garland Richard Osborne. He mostly went by Don which is my Dad's given name. Don was a nickname he got after the war or during the war where they called him "Don Juan". I know there are stories there but they did not matter for me. For me I thought of him as another Dad, but because of that little dance we did... I generally called him Mr. Osborne. I hated that because it implied distance and formality in our relationship that was not there.
He was a very tall man. And if you measured him perhaps that height is just my imagination. But he still seemed big. He was always so skinny. He ate rich rich foods... like nothing I had ever seen before. I had never had butter in my whole life and he and Orval could eat a whole stick of butter or more on a plate of spaghetti while carbo loading for a race. He struggled with ulcers and smoking and who knows what his worries were... but he always enjoyed food. Running kept him thin.
He wore suits to work until he moved to Oakdale where the suit was replaced by cowboy shirts, cowboy boots, bolo ties and that cowboy hat. He touched his roots by moving to the farmland of California and he loved it. When he was not working he wore sweats and running clothes. He could dress up fine... but at the end of the day with his running shorts and that old bandanna on his head and he blended with all the rest.
I probably met him the first time at some family dinner. Since by then, two of their children were gone from home... whenever anyone came home it became a FAMILY dinner. They had them all the time with lots of wine and beer and laughing, joking, and of course those dinner debates. Before the dinner debates came the puns. These people would throw puns back and forth and I could hardly keep up. Dad Osborne presided over these dinners like the patriarch he was. He was proud of his boys and he doted on his daughter and he had great fun with his grand children.
He was an insurance salesman. When I first met him he was running an insurance office in Willow Glen. He had like 20 guys working for him. He wore a suit and they all tried to impress him buy buying us nice presents at our wedding. We were so naive about that. Every year the insurance company would send Don and Iola to European countries or cruises to recognize the producers of sales. My mother-in-law would have to make gowns and fancy dresses to wear on the party nights. Those were things she endured because she was very much a homebody.
The thing about Dad Osborne was that I think he was in his element no matter what he did. He could shovel poop, take care of his cows and chickens, talk to the farmers in Oakdale to sell them insurance, work with the Lions club, be a working member of the Steeplechasers running club in Oakdale/Manteca, run trails with his dog and run races - Bay to Breakers! with his family all dressed together, wear a suit and attend meetings and parties, work on the cars with his boys, play with his grandchildren, barbecuing a big london broil for the family dinner, ... whatever he did.. he did it with gusto and joy. I think that is one thing I will always remember about him.
He came to Oregon the September after my divorce. I was running my first marathon and he insisted that he come and run it with me. I had a running partner but totally recognized that Dad Osborne came to share this time with me. I never would have run a mile without his being a runner. Before I married Darrell both of our fathers (named Don) celebrated New Years Eve running a race together. My Dad is in great shape and is rather competitive but likes engines to go with his effort. But it was still an awesome memory that our Dads did that together. Later after 3 kids and struggling with smoking off and on... I had finally given up smoking and taken up running. It was a healthy exchange and I ran for 15-16 years happily. The thing was that loving running was something Dad Osborne and I always shared. The very last time I saw him, he told me the doctors were telling him to quit. I was getting the very same advice from mine. We both commiserated how difficult life would be without running. It was impossible for him to think of what that life would look like. A month or so later, he fell and broke his hip while trail running and died from complications.
My father-in-law had not always been that good of a husband and father. He was preoccupied and I imagine making a buck as a salesman is not that easy. But as he aged he recognized his failures and tried hard to do the makeup work. It kind of goes back to the grace thing. Without grace one must work very very hard (and it still doesn't work). But the touching thing to me was always how hard he tried. Perhaps he recognized the jewel of a wife he had, perhaps he just knew how much pain had been inflicted, perhaps he just wanted peace... whatever the reason... he worked hard to please and honor and respect. He treated my mother-in-law like a queen and as she seemed to be failing he filled in the gaps. He showed me what love in action looked like.
So here are just some memories:
He made wine. At the beginning he would gather fruit on the street from his runs in San Jose and make wine with them. There would be wierd wines like raisen crabapple wine or prune wine or rhubarb wine. He was a prolific wine maker. I was never a wine drinker and so I was not a judge of whether or not they were good. However, he did make a cranberry champagne .. started it about the time I was pregnant with Stephanie. It tasted like cranberry juice and 7-up and had a kick after a glass or two which was always surprising. The cranberry champagne was popular among all the female family members and he could hardly make enough. But he tried, bless his heart. One of my greatest memories was one Easter Sunday with all the family at the house in Oakdale in the garage, bottling wine from the barrells with an assembly line going. Wine brought people together in the Osborne clan.
Dad Osborne had an old Studebaker when I met Darrell and the two of them worked to keep it running. It was quite the rare car and would probably be worth big money now. There had been several old cars like Oldsmobiles that had been wrecked at the old house in San Jose. He just buried the parts in the back yard. At one time he used old car parts as walls for a winer cellar in the back yard. He always drove the big long cars .. not cadillacs but that kind. The smell of success.
Once in the new fancy house in San Jose before they moved to Oakdale, he found some marijuana seeds somehow and decided to see what it was like and so he planted them and grew them. I think someone stole his crop before he could harvest. But I do think he grew some in Oakdale and tried it just to see what the fuss was about.
I have big memories of sitting on the deck at the house in Oakdale. The house was up on a bluff above the town with pasture all around. And the deck ran the whole length of the house facing west and so you could sit there and watch the show every single night. The sun sank slowly into the mountains. It was our nightly entertainment.
There are people who come into your life for a season that will last a lifetime. I see my father-in-law in the faces of my children. I learned from him things about myself. He spoke things and did things that were painful and that I struggled with. Yet always did I know that he cared about me. DKU
Dec 27, 2010
Donna’s 2010 LATE Christmas Letter:
2010 was like so many years. I worked, gardened, watched my grandchildren grow, had another birthday. My children are awesome and I am blessed with a job and a home and a wonderful church family and amazing friends. But if that is all that happened, my letter would be rather boring to write and even more boring to read. 2010 was really a year of mountaintop experiences for me.
Two weeks later Steph, the kids, and I drove to Bremerton, WA to watch Rachael skate 2 bouts (ROLLER DERBY) with the Central Coast Roller Derby Girls in the Wild West Smackdown. It was awesome and even though no one else came from SLO town to cheer for them, we cheered loud enough to make up for that. We celebrated a hard win by going out to eat with these great ladies in Bremerton and with my nephew, Chris.
In May I broke my ankle while hiking with Rachael in San Luis Obispo and so I got to wear that attractive walking boot a few more weeks. Patience I got to practice alot. My folks visited in June. I always enjoy them. The “girls” got together for a week at the coast in July where we celebrated sisterhood in the most amazing time. Josh’s son, Caleb turned 1 on August 14th. Life was good but it got better.
In September Joshua and Amanda married. It was a beautiful wedding and Amanda was a beautiful bride. They included the family wonderfully with Amber as her maid of honor and Blake as a groomsman. We were blessed with so many wonderful loved ones and friends who came to share this happy event. Almost all of the Osborne clan arrived from California and even my sister in law from Florida came to be there for Josh and Amanda. My family and friends came. My nieces and nephews came and partied the reception down. Josh and Amanda began the journey of their life together with the greatest send off possible. Family is important to both of them and they felt loved by all. My time with my sisters by marriage, Donna and Patt… (sisters, really), was the icing on the cake for me.
In October, Connie and I did the Inaugural Portland Half Marathon in the pouring down rain. We both recovered from surgeries last December and who knows how much physical therapy. We set the goal (paid the money) and got it done. Rain was a bit fitting, I suppose. Life is never the way you plan it. But the question is what do you do when faced with changes you do not like? We walked 13.1 miles in the pouring down pounding rain. And finished.
Later that month, I traveled to Guatemala and stayed with my other friend, Connie (sounds like I have only 2 friends and they are both named Connie!) in Panajachel. We worked with an organization called Mayan Families whose mission it is to serve the Mayan’s in the highlands. We built stoves, delivered food, shoes, & clothing. Seeing hungry people is sobering. We passed out shoes to children, who didn’t just need a NEW pair of shoes; they just needed ANY PAIR of shoes. And we ran out. I had to look in the eyes of little boys who daily walk miles on rocky trails with bare feet to tell them that we had no more shoes. I will carry that forever.
November we celebrated Blake’s 13th birthday on Thanksgiving. Our family talked about the real meaning of the coming Christmas season and vowed to have a different holiday. And we did. We celebrated each other. We celebrated the children and health and great food and love and struggles. We spent very little on gifts and put the emphasis on togetherness.
Let us determine to be agents of change. http://http://muttcats.com/starfish.htm
It is time to start saving starfish even if we can't save them all. It matters! As a very intelligent woman I know suggested, let’s "START A REVOLUTION" to be a light and change the world. Let’s feed the hungry, dig wells for safe drinking water, provide access to medical care, educate children. God has blessed us greatly. Let’s bless others with our bounty in 2011.. lets change the world! DKU
After working thru every tax season for 23+ years, I actually took two weekends off in February. The first weekend I got to walk the DON OSBORNE LIBRARY MEMORIAL RUN in Oakdale, CA. My father in law died 15 years ago but they still honor him by raising money for the city library. Getting to do this event was something I dreamed about doing for years. The weekend of the run coincided with my first days out of a walking boot (recovering from two different foot surgeries). Being there was amazing. I got to walk the streets where my father in law taught me to run. Running is something that has shaped most of my adult life and though I walk now instead of run, I often think of the many lessons Dad Osborne taught me as we ran. The best part is that I got to touch and hug each of my sister in laws and nieces and nephews (all but one made the trip and I got to hug her and her family in October!). These are kids whose diapers I had changed.. kids I learned to love along with my own kids 30 years ago. It was such a treat for me I am still glowing from that one weekend. I will treasure it for many years. I also got to reconnect with a sister in law that I had not seen for 30 years. She surprised me in so many ways… different but the same. I loved her then..Both my sisters by marriage are amazing women, survivors, women who shaped me and mentored me. I owe them much.
Two weeks later Steph, the kids, and I drove to Bremerton, WA to watch Rachael skate 2 bouts (ROLLER DERBY) with the Central Coast Roller Derby Girls in the Wild West Smackdown. It was awesome and even though no one else came from SLO town to cheer for them, we cheered loud enough to make up for that. We celebrated a hard win by going out to eat with these great ladies in Bremerton and with my nephew, Chris.
In May I broke my ankle while hiking with Rachael in San Luis Obispo and so I got to wear that attractive walking boot a few more weeks. Patience I got to practice alot. My folks visited in June. I always enjoy them. The “girls” got together for a week at the coast in July where we celebrated sisterhood in the most amazing time. Josh’s son, Caleb turned 1 on August 14th. Life was good but it got better.
In September Joshua and Amanda married. It was a beautiful wedding and Amanda was a beautiful bride. They included the family wonderfully with Amber as her maid of honor and Blake as a groomsman. We were blessed with so many wonderful loved ones and friends who came to share this happy event. Almost all of the Osborne clan arrived from California and even my sister in law from Florida came to be there for Josh and Amanda. My family and friends came. My nieces and nephews came and partied the reception down. Josh and Amanda began the journey of their life together with the greatest send off possible. Family is important to both of them and they felt loved by all. My time with my sisters by marriage, Donna and Patt… (sisters, really), was the icing on the cake for me.
In October, Connie and I did the Inaugural Portland Half Marathon in the pouring down rain. We both recovered from surgeries last December and who knows how much physical therapy. We set the goal (paid the money) and got it done. Rain was a bit fitting, I suppose. Life is never the way you plan it. But the question is what do you do when faced with changes you do not like? We walked 13.1 miles in the pouring down pounding rain. And finished.
Later that month, I traveled to Guatemala and stayed with my other friend, Connie (sounds like I have only 2 friends and they are both named Connie!) in Panajachel. We worked with an organization called Mayan Families whose mission it is to serve the Mayan’s in the highlands. We built stoves, delivered food, shoes, & clothing. Seeing hungry people is sobering. We passed out shoes to children, who didn’t just need a NEW pair of shoes; they just needed ANY PAIR of shoes. And we ran out. I had to look in the eyes of little boys who daily walk miles on rocky trails with bare feet to tell them that we had no more shoes. I will carry that forever.
November we celebrated Blake’s 13th birthday on Thanksgiving. Our family talked about the real meaning of the coming Christmas season and vowed to have a different holiday. And we did. We celebrated each other. We celebrated the children and health and great food and love and struggles. We spent very little on gifts and put the emphasis on togetherness.
Let us determine to be agents of change. http://http://muttcats.com/starfish.htm
It is time to start saving starfish even if we can't save them all. It matters! As a very intelligent woman I know suggested, let’s "START A REVOLUTION" to be a light and change the world. Let’s feed the hungry, dig wells for safe drinking water, provide access to medical care, educate children. God has blessed us greatly. Let’s bless others with our bounty in 2011.. lets change the world! DKU
Nov 30, 2010
30 Days of Thankfulness
Nov 30 - This is the last day. But I hope I consciously work at expressing thankfulness more often because as evidenced here I am extremely blessed. I have been given much and I hope to find out a way to give to others. It is something I am lousy at. This last day I could sum up all the things I have already written. I have probably left out some glaringly obvious person or thing to be thankful for. For that I will be sorry. Maybe next year I will be better at recalling and thinking about everything I should be thankful for. But this last day, I am thankful for PUSHY PEOPLE. There are people in my life, and even some folks who have passed on who pushed me. I need pushing.. pushing to be better, to be more, to be nicer, to be stronger, to be less fearful, to reach higher, to stand back, to try harder, to let go. I am thankful for all those in my life ... some my elders, sometimes my children and even grandchildren, sometimes my friend and some even those who are decidedly NOT my friend, sometimes a stranger on the street. For all these people who preach to me loudly without words, thank you. Because of them I am rich.
Nov 29 - Today I am thankful for a job. Some days I am not to be honest. But the fact is my job.. while it is definitely NOT my identity, IS a job that suits me, uses my gifts, allows me to solve puzzles (a past time my Dad turned me on to as a kid), and interact with people. I am glad when my bank account has emptied that there is a way to fill it. Mondays are Mondays but on this one after a lovely 4 day weekend, I am thankful for my job!
Nov 28 - Today I am thankful for finishing... Luckily I have had time and margin to finish some things today and it is still early. One thing I started in January with a Dec 31 goal and the other I started Nov 1. And while there is satisfaction in finishing there is not a sense of conquering because it can always be done better. Though I wrestled with words and with myself, there is no mastery. So I keep on living and learning and searching and trying. Thank you God for a life that only finds satisfaction in YOU!
Nov 27 - Today I am incredibly overwhelmed and thankful for sunsets and rainbows and waves that roll in hour after hour, day after day, year after year, century after century, and for rainstorms and sunshine. Our world is a creative place that we are blessed to live in... God gave us all this so we can glorify HIM. God is good.
Nov 26 - Today is the morning after and the day it all begins. Today I am thankful for all the things I have been thankful for up to now. And then I am grateful for being able to take a trip to the beach and a lovely home and living in luxury when I don't deserve it and getting to write the last words of my novel watching the stormy rain coming in. It is amazing here and while this is not the place to complain.. I am sad that we cannot seem to get ESPN and I am missing the football game. BUT... all in all my novel is going to get wrapped up this weekend and I am thankful for that chance to use the gifts I have been given or just to exercise it. Thank you.
Nov 25 - Today is Thanksgiving. Today is Blakes Birthday. Today is a day off of work. Today is a day I get to see Monkey (and his family). Today is a day we get to eat good stuff... turkey, ham, plus all the birthday stuff and homemade ice cream. I am overwhlemed with gratitude for a life that is filled with excesses. I cannot help but think of those who live without. This holiday season I am beyond ready to do something different. The fact is I have everything I need and maybe a whole lot of stuff I do not need. Oh.. I still want. That wanting monster inside of me has to stop being fed. Please ..family, friends, lets stop. Lets find a way to spend time celebrating relationship instead of shopping. Lets love in action without involving more stuff. Lets think of all those people who go door to door looking for a single tamale to celebrate the season with and find them a tamale... the only thing they will have to celebrate Christmas. We who live in the land of excess need to learn to spread the wealth. Where is Robin Hood when you need him? Oh that right... we have Jesus. Lets change the world!
Nov 24 - I know we were already thankful for vets and warm houses and freedom. But this cold dark morning it is 15 degrees outside and my heater is on (a shock to most visitors to my house) and I am warm and comfortable. I am planning turkey day with my family and a beach trip.... food, good people, warm houses - one has to feel grateful for all the blessings we enjoy. Then on top of that I have been selling the jewelry that I brought home from Guatemala .. and it is not really selling it... I am giving it to folks in exchange for a donation to www.mayanfamilies.org/DonateNOw to help feed the little village of El Barranco who is experiencing famine. And my friends and family have stepped up to help me accomplish somthing so much bigger than I could have done by myself. I am humbled by the generosity of these folks who will act because I asked. God is good!
Nov 23 - Today I am really praising God for some folks close to me who were/are experiencing crisis/needs. It is awesome that we can petition our Father for things that concern our hearts and know that He listens, He cares, and He can move mountains. So today my niece and her husband have been given guardianship of their little girl, Jaydn. The rest is a matter of protocol.. visas, passports and getting them out of Uganda and HOME. The other was my sister's job.. and she still has it. That is awesome.
Nov - 22 Today I am thankful for lots of the same stuff. For the anticipation of holidays and shopping and visiting with friends and snow. Yesterday I got to attend church at a new place and I love to see how God takes care of his people whether they are close or far.
Nov 21 - Today I am thankful for the opportunity to worship with others... to see others dwelling in the word, to see them wrestle with scripture, to see them be open and friendly and natural and caring. God is awesome and His people are pretty great too. And I just gotta say Monkey is so adorable... Love being a Grandma.
Nov 20 - Last night I spent with a bunch of kids writing (ok some were actually doing math)... I also hatched a plan with Amber for Blake's birthday. I love that kids are so creative and eager. What an amazing world we have where we get to see and mold the next generation. I am thankful for not only the next generation of kids but their parents who are raising them in a very tough environment. We expose them to so many things now from sex everywhere they look to drugs and alcohol and for some families it is normal life. God help the parents and help the kids! But thank you for them, too. They give us hope and anticipation for the future.
Nov 19 - I am thankful for the "information age" and the ability to connect and touch people far away. NOT just that.. I have been selling the jewelry I came home from Guatemala with. I am NOT a seller. It is way outside my comfort zone. But in being able to show people pictures and videos from the little village ... people understand even a little. Famine is not a word we as North Americans can understand. BUT we do look into the eyes of a child and get it. So thank you Lord for this technology which allows us to track an adoption saga happening in Africa this very week, allows us to see and meet people far away, it allows us to stay in touch with loved ones, AND it allows want-to-be writers like me sitting in my living room to research and find answers without leaving my chair (the novel continues).
Nov 18 - I am thankful for kick back family group meals with people who have become my good friends. We are quite an eclectic group, not together for any other reason than that we love the Lord. But together we bring out the best in each other and at times I am overcome with just what awesome people they are. And the meals are awesome... always something great to look forward to. Thank you Lord for bringing these people into my life.
Nov 17 - Today I am thankful for a warm house and comfortable place to write, to sleep, to come to after work. I can actually work at home but prefer not to. I feel a little embarrassed at the size of my house after spending so much time in Guatemala and recognizing how the rest of the world lives. At the same time I have room for family who visits, friends who visit -- inside and out. Truly I am blessed and if some day I am asked to live in less, I have seen how it is done.
Nov 16 - Today I am thankful for the ability to sit down with others and study the Bible... There is never a time that I don't walk away with a heart convicted or changed over something that someone pointed out to me. I love to learn from my oh-so-smart friends. Sometimes the material goes over my head and it takes patient loving friends to bring it down to my level (is that dumbing it down?). Thank you God for putting so many wonderful teachers in my life. The list would be long if I named them. But today I am thankful for you!
Nov 15 - Today I am thankful for being able to watch an amazing God work in little ways and in the grand ways. The story is my neice and her husband have had it on their heart to adopt a child from Uganda. The cost was prohibitive and to most of us we would have quit right there. But she knew that God would work it all out and she invited the world to join them on their journey to "Jaydn" (2) (which is what they have named her). So once the money was rasied... and make no mistake - it was raised creatively and quickly with all needs being met, they had to wait on the government of Uganda which takes its own sweet time to move. Prayers went up. Prayers for patience, prayers for movement, prayers for action, prayers for a sweet little girl with spunk in her eyes surviving in an orphanage. And then one day they got their summons. And now there they are. Away from their children, Jovie (2) and Jaxon (6). And waiting again for the government to move...Prayers are requested.. for patience, for action, prayers for Jadyn and Jove and Jaxon all on this journey together. But they are sleeping with their little girl who still has spunk in her eye but now she sleeps with her forever parents and little does she know that God is about to bless her with an amazing brother and sister, a forever family. God is amazing.
Nov 14 - Today I am thankful for health. I can still move. I might pay for it, I might complain, my feet hurt, my ankles are frozen, my knees don't bend. My walking partners hear me complain way more than they should have to. But the bottom line is in the last year I have had two foot and leg surgeries and one broken ankle and I have still walked many miles including a few long training walks on the Vernonia Linear Trail (my favorite) and a half marathon a few weeks ago. Lord thank you for my health. My good health is a blessing from you. Thank You!
Nov 13 - Today I am thankful for friends. I have the best ones. They are people who fill in the gaps of my life. They push me and pull me and challenge me and make me reach higher and work harder than I really want to work. Connie can be convinced to set a goal and then we both work to make it happen. She is amazing in her discipline. She is a wonderful teacher and a friend who listens unendingly. Linda has been one of those constants in my life for so many years, I cannot imagine life without her encouragement, her constant attentiveness. There are new people in my life that are amazing. I want to be like them... Sonya, Candace, Helen. How I have been blessed! And then there are people who have been part of my life for years... that make me richer - Brenda, Connie T, Janet, Kathy, Kay, Laurel, Maiya, Marian, Martha, Mel, Roma... Each of these people have changed me and made me better. Thank you, God for friends, sisters.
Nov 12 - These are certainly not in order of any importance but I am thankful for grandchildren. My grandchildren taught me that there is no end to love, no life so full, no shortage of time or energy when it comes to grandchildren. My grandchildren are amazing ... every one of them. I could cry to think of all the things Amber has taught me without even touching her courage and bravery and beauty inside and out and how she faces tough things head on. When I grow up I want to be JUST Like her. Blake is sweet and loving at an age where that is not cool. So he is becoming a man instead (I don't like that). I love watching him play sports that he has gone after himself.. there is no one playing with him (football and basketball) to teach him technique. He is using his size well. He is the most tenacious person I know. Hailey is 6 and we still getting to know each other, but she is really smart and she works hard at being 15 so she can be Amber's best friend and she is not. She is a fish in water and loves harvesting berries growing all around the house. Caleb is my little love bug. He is 1 and we have shared much in the last year including a few sicknesses and asthma. How I am blessed with grandchildren. If you have none, adopt some... because they are truly God's reward for living thru raising kids!
Nov 11 - I thought I would be slowing down but I have three things I am overwhelmed with this morning.. but I will stick with one. Today along with the rest of the world I want to be thankful for the veterans. Those who serve, those who have served long ago, those who hold down the fort while their loved ones serve.... THANK YOU. You are responsible for the wonderful lives we have, the choices we have, the freedom, the riches... ANd there are no words for those who gave their lives. May God bless these men and women and their famililes always for giving their BEST.
Nov 10 - This day I want to be thankful for sisters by marriage. There were a lot of years that I was separate from those sisters. And this year those years of separation have been removed. These women were my role models when I was learning to be an adult, a mom, and even a wife. I watched them and I listened and I can tell you I am better today because of them. These women have lead amazing lives and are still two of the wisest women I know. I just know that I intend to treasure them for as long as we live. That is alot to be thankful for.
Nov 9 - This day I am incredibly thankful for my "family by marriage" even tho I am long unmarried. This family represeneted exciting new relationships that opened new doors for me. They were so different than my own family. They were loud and boisterous and opinonated and loving and accepting and a little frustrating, too. My mother and father in law were so patient and loving and taught me to be more. My mother in law urged me to nurse my babies, urged me to read a wide variety of books, talked to me about current issues, shared her love of gardening and roses with me. My father in law taught me to run. ... an activity that has changed me more than any other. They have both passed on... but they live on in many ways in how I live and how I love.
Nov 8 - This day I am thankful for my sister. She has been a companion during most of my life. She is brave and strong and tenacious... maybe more than anyone I know. She has accomplished much in spite of obstacles and disappointments in life. We struggle, we work together, we inspire each other. I cannot help but acknowledge that my sister has shaped alot about who I am. In many ways she is so different than I - in taste, and how we live out our lives. But in all the right ways she is very much like me. I have been blessed with my sister.
Nov 7 - Today I am very thankful for my friends. God has blessed me with friends who have walked with me on good days and held my hand as I cried thru bad days. This life is full of ups and downs (it rains on the just and the unjust) but having people in your life that walk alongside you IS PRICELESS. My friends speak the truth, crazily commit to walking marathons and half marathons, call to see if I am ok, allow me to be as good a friend to them as they are to me, they stretch me and grow me and on days when we grieve - they step up to fill in those holes. I am grateful for, the opportunity to experience the light of Jesus thru hands of these people whom I love.
Nov 6 - I love waking up early without the alarm and experiencing morning the slow way. I get to go out and walk in a few minutes and watch the sun come up. I know I said it already but it is powerful experiencing the birth of a day and know that God in HIS great faithfulness has caused the sun to rise each morning since the first day. So today I am thankful for God's wonderful faithfulness.
Nov 5 - This morning I am thankful for warm snug houses and comfy beds.. ok.. my comfy house and my comfy bed. Traveling I can sleep anywhere. But I AM most comfortable at home. And seeing hovels where 5 and 6 people sleep in one bed or worse yet, take turns sleeping and those not in bed are on a mat on a dirt floor. Do I feel a bit guilty? YES! But also want to recognize that I have been blessed.... with so many things. But one is a warm comfy house and a luxuriously large bed. Father, help me to not forget those who have so little. Then make me your servant to make a difference!
Nov 4 - Today I am thankful for blue skies and early morning stars that shine and sunshine and trees that are brilliantly dressed before their winter slumber. I love the crisp mornings and the surprise warmth of the November sun. I love the moon dancing with just a sliver... but the unseen barely showing. God is amazing in His creative powers. I am humbled by His majesty and His loving care to have created such splendor for man.
Nov 3 - I am grateful for parents who taught us right from wrong - who did NOT make us the center of their existance, who taught us to give back and in most cases to give back bigger and better, and the importance of church community and taking care of each other. I am thankful for their example of marriage and of staying together thru thick and thin. I love that they are still actively bowling (both.. you ROCK) and dirt bike riding (Dad you are so young at heart!), and learning new things (IPAD). God blessed me big with you as parents.
Nov 2 - I am thankful to my church family who have propped me up more times than I wish to relive and they have also encourged me to step outside that comfort zone and dare to do things I never would have tried. They continually remind me who I belong to and that risk is all relative. Thank you for being the light that illuminates my way.!
Nov 1 - I am thankful to my children who make it all so much more interesting.. with struggles and happy times and there is never a dull moment, never a moment I would have missed because even in the dark moments there was the other side. I love them fully completely and I especially love seeing God working in their lives. I love that my family of three children has expanded. I now have 3 daughters and a son. What a blessed woman I am.
DKU
Nov 29 - Today I am thankful for a job. Some days I am not to be honest. But the fact is my job.. while it is definitely NOT my identity, IS a job that suits me, uses my gifts, allows me to solve puzzles (a past time my Dad turned me on to as a kid), and interact with people. I am glad when my bank account has emptied that there is a way to fill it. Mondays are Mondays but on this one after a lovely 4 day weekend, I am thankful for my job!
Nov 28 - Today I am thankful for finishing... Luckily I have had time and margin to finish some things today and it is still early. One thing I started in January with a Dec 31 goal and the other I started Nov 1. And while there is satisfaction in finishing there is not a sense of conquering because it can always be done better. Though I wrestled with words and with myself, there is no mastery. So I keep on living and learning and searching and trying. Thank you God for a life that only finds satisfaction in YOU!
Nov 27 - Today I am incredibly overwhelmed and thankful for sunsets and rainbows and waves that roll in hour after hour, day after day, year after year, century after century, and for rainstorms and sunshine. Our world is a creative place that we are blessed to live in... God gave us all this so we can glorify HIM. God is good.
Nov 26 - Today is the morning after and the day it all begins. Today I am thankful for all the things I have been thankful for up to now. And then I am grateful for being able to take a trip to the beach and a lovely home and living in luxury when I don't deserve it and getting to write the last words of my novel watching the stormy rain coming in. It is amazing here and while this is not the place to complain.. I am sad that we cannot seem to get ESPN and I am missing the football game. BUT... all in all my novel is going to get wrapped up this weekend and I am thankful for that chance to use the gifts I have been given or just to exercise it. Thank you.
Nov 25 - Today is Thanksgiving. Today is Blakes Birthday. Today is a day off of work. Today is a day I get to see Monkey (and his family). Today is a day we get to eat good stuff... turkey, ham, plus all the birthday stuff and homemade ice cream. I am overwhlemed with gratitude for a life that is filled with excesses. I cannot help but think of those who live without. This holiday season I am beyond ready to do something different. The fact is I have everything I need and maybe a whole lot of stuff I do not need. Oh.. I still want. That wanting monster inside of me has to stop being fed. Please ..family, friends, lets stop. Lets find a way to spend time celebrating relationship instead of shopping. Lets love in action without involving more stuff. Lets think of all those people who go door to door looking for a single tamale to celebrate the season with and find them a tamale... the only thing they will have to celebrate Christmas. We who live in the land of excess need to learn to spread the wealth. Where is Robin Hood when you need him? Oh that right... we have Jesus. Lets change the world!
Nov 24 - I know we were already thankful for vets and warm houses and freedom. But this cold dark morning it is 15 degrees outside and my heater is on (a shock to most visitors to my house) and I am warm and comfortable. I am planning turkey day with my family and a beach trip.... food, good people, warm houses - one has to feel grateful for all the blessings we enjoy. Then on top of that I have been selling the jewelry that I brought home from Guatemala .. and it is not really selling it... I am giving it to folks in exchange for a donation to www.mayanfamilies.org/DonateNOw to help feed the little village of El Barranco who is experiencing famine. And my friends and family have stepped up to help me accomplish somthing so much bigger than I could have done by myself. I am humbled by the generosity of these folks who will act because I asked. God is good!
Nov 23 - Today I am really praising God for some folks close to me who were/are experiencing crisis/needs. It is awesome that we can petition our Father for things that concern our hearts and know that He listens, He cares, and He can move mountains. So today my niece and her husband have been given guardianship of their little girl, Jaydn. The rest is a matter of protocol.. visas, passports and getting them out of Uganda and HOME. The other was my sister's job.. and she still has it. That is awesome.
Nov - 22 Today I am thankful for lots of the same stuff. For the anticipation of holidays and shopping and visiting with friends and snow. Yesterday I got to attend church at a new place and I love to see how God takes care of his people whether they are close or far.
Nov 21 - Today I am thankful for the opportunity to worship with others... to see others dwelling in the word, to see them wrestle with scripture, to see them be open and friendly and natural and caring. God is awesome and His people are pretty great too. And I just gotta say Monkey is so adorable... Love being a Grandma.
Nov 20 - Last night I spent with a bunch of kids writing (ok some were actually doing math)... I also hatched a plan with Amber for Blake's birthday. I love that kids are so creative and eager. What an amazing world we have where we get to see and mold the next generation. I am thankful for not only the next generation of kids but their parents who are raising them in a very tough environment. We expose them to so many things now from sex everywhere they look to drugs and alcohol and for some families it is normal life. God help the parents and help the kids! But thank you for them, too. They give us hope and anticipation for the future.
Nov 19 - I am thankful for the "information age" and the ability to connect and touch people far away. NOT just that.. I have been selling the jewelry I came home from Guatemala with. I am NOT a seller. It is way outside my comfort zone. But in being able to show people pictures and videos from the little village ... people understand even a little. Famine is not a word we as North Americans can understand. BUT we do look into the eyes of a child and get it. So thank you Lord for this technology which allows us to track an adoption saga happening in Africa this very week, allows us to see and meet people far away, it allows us to stay in touch with loved ones, AND it allows want-to-be writers like me sitting in my living room to research and find answers without leaving my chair (the novel continues).
Nov 18 - I am thankful for kick back family group meals with people who have become my good friends. We are quite an eclectic group, not together for any other reason than that we love the Lord. But together we bring out the best in each other and at times I am overcome with just what awesome people they are. And the meals are awesome... always something great to look forward to. Thank you Lord for bringing these people into my life.
Nov 17 - Today I am thankful for a warm house and comfortable place to write, to sleep, to come to after work. I can actually work at home but prefer not to. I feel a little embarrassed at the size of my house after spending so much time in Guatemala and recognizing how the rest of the world lives. At the same time I have room for family who visits, friends who visit -- inside and out. Truly I am blessed and if some day I am asked to live in less, I have seen how it is done.
Nov 16 - Today I am thankful for the ability to sit down with others and study the Bible... There is never a time that I don't walk away with a heart convicted or changed over something that someone pointed out to me. I love to learn from my oh-so-smart friends. Sometimes the material goes over my head and it takes patient loving friends to bring it down to my level (is that dumbing it down?). Thank you God for putting so many wonderful teachers in my life. The list would be long if I named them. But today I am thankful for you!
Nov 15 - Today I am thankful for being able to watch an amazing God work in little ways and in the grand ways. The story is my neice and her husband have had it on their heart to adopt a child from Uganda. The cost was prohibitive and to most of us we would have quit right there. But she knew that God would work it all out and she invited the world to join them on their journey to "Jaydn" (2) (which is what they have named her). So once the money was rasied... and make no mistake - it was raised creatively and quickly with all needs being met, they had to wait on the government of Uganda which takes its own sweet time to move. Prayers went up. Prayers for patience, prayers for movement, prayers for action, prayers for a sweet little girl with spunk in her eyes surviving in an orphanage. And then one day they got their summons. And now there they are. Away from their children, Jovie (2) and Jaxon (6). And waiting again for the government to move...Prayers are requested.. for patience, for action, prayers for Jadyn and Jove and Jaxon all on this journey together. But they are sleeping with their little girl who still has spunk in her eye but now she sleeps with her forever parents and little does she know that God is about to bless her with an amazing brother and sister, a forever family. God is amazing.
Nov 14 - Today I am thankful for health. I can still move. I might pay for it, I might complain, my feet hurt, my ankles are frozen, my knees don't bend. My walking partners hear me complain way more than they should have to. But the bottom line is in the last year I have had two foot and leg surgeries and one broken ankle and I have still walked many miles including a few long training walks on the Vernonia Linear Trail (my favorite) and a half marathon a few weeks ago. Lord thank you for my health. My good health is a blessing from you. Thank You!
Nov 13 - Today I am thankful for friends. I have the best ones. They are people who fill in the gaps of my life. They push me and pull me and challenge me and make me reach higher and work harder than I really want to work. Connie can be convinced to set a goal and then we both work to make it happen. She is amazing in her discipline. She is a wonderful teacher and a friend who listens unendingly. Linda has been one of those constants in my life for so many years, I cannot imagine life without her encouragement, her constant attentiveness. There are new people in my life that are amazing. I want to be like them... Sonya, Candace, Helen. How I have been blessed! And then there are people who have been part of my life for years... that make me richer - Brenda, Connie T, Janet, Kathy, Kay, Laurel, Maiya, Marian, Martha, Mel, Roma... Each of these people have changed me and made me better. Thank you, God for friends, sisters.
Nov 12 - These are certainly not in order of any importance but I am thankful for grandchildren. My grandchildren taught me that there is no end to love, no life so full, no shortage of time or energy when it comes to grandchildren. My grandchildren are amazing ... every one of them. I could cry to think of all the things Amber has taught me without even touching her courage and bravery and beauty inside and out and how she faces tough things head on. When I grow up I want to be JUST Like her. Blake is sweet and loving at an age where that is not cool. So he is becoming a man instead (I don't like that). I love watching him play sports that he has gone after himself.. there is no one playing with him (football and basketball) to teach him technique. He is using his size well. He is the most tenacious person I know. Hailey is 6 and we still getting to know each other, but she is really smart and she works hard at being 15 so she can be Amber's best friend and she is not. She is a fish in water and loves harvesting berries growing all around the house. Caleb is my little love bug. He is 1 and we have shared much in the last year including a few sicknesses and asthma. How I am blessed with grandchildren. If you have none, adopt some... because they are truly God's reward for living thru raising kids!
Nov 11 - I thought I would be slowing down but I have three things I am overwhelmed with this morning.. but I will stick with one. Today along with the rest of the world I want to be thankful for the veterans. Those who serve, those who have served long ago, those who hold down the fort while their loved ones serve.... THANK YOU. You are responsible for the wonderful lives we have, the choices we have, the freedom, the riches... ANd there are no words for those who gave their lives. May God bless these men and women and their famililes always for giving their BEST.
Nov 10 - This day I want to be thankful for sisters by marriage. There were a lot of years that I was separate from those sisters. And this year those years of separation have been removed. These women were my role models when I was learning to be an adult, a mom, and even a wife. I watched them and I listened and I can tell you I am better today because of them. These women have lead amazing lives and are still two of the wisest women I know. I just know that I intend to treasure them for as long as we live. That is alot to be thankful for.
Nov 9 - This day I am incredibly thankful for my "family by marriage" even tho I am long unmarried. This family represeneted exciting new relationships that opened new doors for me. They were so different than my own family. They were loud and boisterous and opinonated and loving and accepting and a little frustrating, too. My mother and father in law were so patient and loving and taught me to be more. My mother in law urged me to nurse my babies, urged me to read a wide variety of books, talked to me about current issues, shared her love of gardening and roses with me. My father in law taught me to run. ... an activity that has changed me more than any other. They have both passed on... but they live on in many ways in how I live and how I love.
Nov 8 - This day I am thankful for my sister. She has been a companion during most of my life. She is brave and strong and tenacious... maybe more than anyone I know. She has accomplished much in spite of obstacles and disappointments in life. We struggle, we work together, we inspire each other. I cannot help but acknowledge that my sister has shaped alot about who I am. In many ways she is so different than I - in taste, and how we live out our lives. But in all the right ways she is very much like me. I have been blessed with my sister.
Nov 7 - Today I am very thankful for my friends. God has blessed me with friends who have walked with me on good days and held my hand as I cried thru bad days. This life is full of ups and downs (it rains on the just and the unjust) but having people in your life that walk alongside you IS PRICELESS. My friends speak the truth, crazily commit to walking marathons and half marathons, call to see if I am ok, allow me to be as good a friend to them as they are to me, they stretch me and grow me and on days when we grieve - they step up to fill in those holes. I am grateful for, the opportunity to experience the light of Jesus thru hands of these people whom I love.
Nov 6 - I love waking up early without the alarm and experiencing morning the slow way. I get to go out and walk in a few minutes and watch the sun come up. I know I said it already but it is powerful experiencing the birth of a day and know that God in HIS great faithfulness has caused the sun to rise each morning since the first day. So today I am thankful for God's wonderful faithfulness.
Nov 5 - This morning I am thankful for warm snug houses and comfy beds.. ok.. my comfy house and my comfy bed. Traveling I can sleep anywhere. But I AM most comfortable at home. And seeing hovels where 5 and 6 people sleep in one bed or worse yet, take turns sleeping and those not in bed are on a mat on a dirt floor. Do I feel a bit guilty? YES! But also want to recognize that I have been blessed.... with so many things. But one is a warm comfy house and a luxuriously large bed. Father, help me to not forget those who have so little. Then make me your servant to make a difference!
Nov 4 - Today I am thankful for blue skies and early morning stars that shine and sunshine and trees that are brilliantly dressed before their winter slumber. I love the crisp mornings and the surprise warmth of the November sun. I love the moon dancing with just a sliver... but the unseen barely showing. God is amazing in His creative powers. I am humbled by His majesty and His loving care to have created such splendor for man.
Nov 3 - I am grateful for parents who taught us right from wrong - who did NOT make us the center of their existance, who taught us to give back and in most cases to give back bigger and better, and the importance of church community and taking care of each other. I am thankful for their example of marriage and of staying together thru thick and thin. I love that they are still actively bowling (both.. you ROCK) and dirt bike riding (Dad you are so young at heart!), and learning new things (IPAD). God blessed me big with you as parents.
Nov 2 - I am thankful to my church family who have propped me up more times than I wish to relive and they have also encourged me to step outside that comfort zone and dare to do things I never would have tried. They continually remind me who I belong to and that risk is all relative. Thank you for being the light that illuminates my way.!
Nov 1 - I am thankful to my children who make it all so much more interesting.. with struggles and happy times and there is never a dull moment, never a moment I would have missed because even in the dark moments there was the other side. I love them fully completely and I especially love seeing God working in their lives. I love that my family of three children has expanded. I now have 3 daughters and a son. What a blessed woman I am.
DKU
Jul 6, 2010
Patriotic worship
I think those two words are an oxymoron. It would have been like David writing songs about God's creation of an ant when the fantastic world was all around him.
Let me back up. Sunday we worshipped as we always do... but since it was the 4th of July, an unusual attempt was made to incorporate 4th of July activities in with worship. A good portion of the Declaration of Independance was read. We ended the service with the singing of patriotic songs. First that Declaration......
We hold these truths to be self evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Is that statement how we believe? If it had said that we are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable TRUTHS.. I could buy it. RIGHTS? I think not. I do not believe that I was created to pursue my own happiness. That disregards the rights of so many in this world who just want to eat, or those here in this country who struggle with what we consider basics. I think my right to happiness can only exist as I run over the rights of my neighbors.
Then we sang America the Beautiful.... the song ignores the existance of other North American lands, Central American lands, and South American lands. WE are not the only Americans. And when we sing "God grant His grace on thee" we should be singing this with great humbleness and not as a demanding prayer! I listened to words that did not fit with worshipping the God of the universe and listened well.
I am not unpatriotic. I just am a child of the most Holy God first. Why would I claim something less?
Let me back up. Sunday we worshipped as we always do... but since it was the 4th of July, an unusual attempt was made to incorporate 4th of July activities in with worship. A good portion of the Declaration of Independance was read. We ended the service with the singing of patriotic songs. First that Declaration......
We hold these truths to be self evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Is that statement how we believe? If it had said that we are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable TRUTHS.. I could buy it. RIGHTS? I think not. I do not believe that I was created to pursue my own happiness. That disregards the rights of so many in this world who just want to eat, or those here in this country who struggle with what we consider basics. I think my right to happiness can only exist as I run over the rights of my neighbors.
Then we sang America the Beautiful.... the song ignores the existance of other North American lands, Central American lands, and South American lands. WE are not the only Americans. And when we sing "God grant His grace on thee" we should be singing this with great humbleness and not as a demanding prayer! I listened to words that did not fit with worshipping the God of the universe and listened well.
I am not unpatriotic. I just am a child of the most Holy God first. Why would I claim something less?
Nov 26, 2009
Families
Last night we celebrated a special birthday and for the first time in a long time, our family all gathered together. Our family has struggled with some conflict this last year. It has been hard, really hard. And in the midst of the conflict we have had some terrific high points - the birth of another grandchild and he is wonderful!
We have new people in the family, I think. Since there are no marriages it is hard to be sure. That is a personal struggle for me. I hate the idea of getting to know and love people that might be not part of us the next year. I have no problem embracing new people. My difficulty is in letting go when the relationships end. TO me, Family is Family and the relationships do NOT begin and end so casually.
So last night at our birthday celebration we had some conflict. The prior conflicts may not be gone. They were not present. That is so awesome and it shows everyone's desire to be family together. There were other conflicts... mostly in the arena of how we each discipline differently. It is so hard when we raise little ones --- everyone with their own expectations of behavior. We still have to figure out how to be family and get along even with our differences.
And I came home last night and reflected on a gift I received yesterday in the mail. It was a candle and a card from a Mom whose only child, a son, died 5 years ago when he was 28. He was the same age as my son. Her request was to light the candle and remember.
While holding my new grandson I coo-ed at him and smiled at him and relished each noise he gave back to me, I realized how rich I am, conflicts and all, loud and noisy and struggles and discipline. So as I think about a young man I never knew and mourn the loss for a woman I love, a Mom, not just of her son but of her grandchildren and her future daughter in law and of all the pleasures and struggles that he would have given her... I stop and say "thank you Lord for my family, struggles and all. Thank you for today, for all the yesterdays, and for all the tomorrows we get."
Help me to remember to be thankful in the midst of conflict.
DKU
We have new people in the family, I think. Since there are no marriages it is hard to be sure. That is a personal struggle for me. I hate the idea of getting to know and love people that might be not part of us the next year. I have no problem embracing new people. My difficulty is in letting go when the relationships end. TO me, Family is Family and the relationships do NOT begin and end so casually.
So last night at our birthday celebration we had some conflict. The prior conflicts may not be gone. They were not present. That is so awesome and it shows everyone's desire to be family together. There were other conflicts... mostly in the arena of how we each discipline differently. It is so hard when we raise little ones --- everyone with their own expectations of behavior. We still have to figure out how to be family and get along even with our differences.
And I came home last night and reflected on a gift I received yesterday in the mail. It was a candle and a card from a Mom whose only child, a son, died 5 years ago when he was 28. He was the same age as my son. Her request was to light the candle and remember.
While holding my new grandson I coo-ed at him and smiled at him and relished each noise he gave back to me, I realized how rich I am, conflicts and all, loud and noisy and struggles and discipline. So as I think about a young man I never knew and mourn the loss for a woman I love, a Mom, not just of her son but of her grandchildren and her future daughter in law and of all the pleasures and struggles that he would have given her... I stop and say "thank you Lord for my family, struggles and all. Thank you for today, for all the yesterdays, and for all the tomorrows we get."
Help me to remember to be thankful in the midst of conflict.
DKU
Oct 23, 2009
Birthdays....
This was written a few days ago... as I reflected on yet another big day.
I woke up this morning hoping the day would pass quickly.... like a trip to the dentist office. Hold still.. another one passes. As a kid you anticipate the birthdays and they never come fast enough. Then you hit the big ones 16 - 20 - 21 - 40 - 35- and 40... Those are birthdays that cause you to stop and shout to the world that you have made it to some pinnacle. You bask in the center of the celebration and anticipate all that is coming ahead. And after 40 you are ready to slow down the annual party and yet the birthdays come faster and faster. Gravity is pulling your body to the ground that it came from. The body stops working as good as it used to. I know I am smarter and more mature and way more at peace with myself.. except for the whole age thing. I walk now when I used to run. I go to bed at 9:30 when I used to go to bed at 12:30. I get up at 5 when I used to get up at 9. I have no idea who the latest stars are.. what the singers are really saying. I look in the mirror and I swear my parents are staring back at me. I feel AGE creeping up on me and it is UNWELCOME! But it won't go away! I want off the merry go round... but lets face it - the alternatives are not very good.
And then I get up today and experience a birthday like no other. From the moment I got up (actually yesterday when someone was a day early :)) I have been bombarded with flowers and e-mails and calls and texts and songs and cards and FB wishers. I, who eat alone most nights.., had three offers for dinner! There has never been a day in my life when I was touched by so many. And while I have work to do and calls to make and problems to solve and clients to see and people to consult with and groceries to buy and computer parts to go find..... all the while I have been blessed by all of my friends and family who stopped to touch me today.
So thank you for those blessings but what I really see is a God that has blessed me with a community of people who walk with me... encouraging, touching, laughing, crying, pushing, pulling. And I am so glad for the gift of friends. Thank you!
I woke up this morning hoping the day would pass quickly.... like a trip to the dentist office. Hold still.. another one passes. As a kid you anticipate the birthdays and they never come fast enough. Then you hit the big ones 16 - 20 - 21 - 40 - 35- and 40... Those are birthdays that cause you to stop and shout to the world that you have made it to some pinnacle. You bask in the center of the celebration and anticipate all that is coming ahead. And after 40 you are ready to slow down the annual party and yet the birthdays come faster and faster. Gravity is pulling your body to the ground that it came from. The body stops working as good as it used to. I know I am smarter and more mature and way more at peace with myself.. except for the whole age thing. I walk now when I used to run. I go to bed at 9:30 when I used to go to bed at 12:30. I get up at 5 when I used to get up at 9. I have no idea who the latest stars are.. what the singers are really saying. I look in the mirror and I swear my parents are staring back at me. I feel AGE creeping up on me and it is UNWELCOME! But it won't go away! I want off the merry go round... but lets face it - the alternatives are not very good.
And then I get up today and experience a birthday like no other. From the moment I got up (actually yesterday when someone was a day early :)) I have been bombarded with flowers and e-mails and calls and texts and songs and cards and FB wishers. I, who eat alone most nights.., had three offers for dinner! There has never been a day in my life when I was touched by so many. And while I have work to do and calls to make and problems to solve and clients to see and people to consult with and groceries to buy and computer parts to go find..... all the while I have been blessed by all of my friends and family who stopped to touch me today.
So thank you for those blessings but what I really see is a God that has blessed me with a community of people who walk with me... encouraging, touching, laughing, crying, pushing, pulling. And I am so glad for the gift of friends. Thank you!
Aug 31, 2009
Portland To Coast Part 1
I work with great people and great clients. One day about a year and a half ago, a few of my co-workers were sitting around day dreaming about attempting the MOTHER OF ALL RELAY events after admiring another employee's great success in running the Hood To Coast. We decided to step up and try it. Since I had some experience, I got to be captain. But they are the ones who worked hard to prepare for something they could hardly imagine. It turned out to be a great experience and now my work team just completed their second Portland to Coast relay walk-race. You can now say we are a seasoned team. Filling the team has not been a problem. We have several husband-and-wife teammates as well as a treasured client on our team. But it has been a logistical challenge on several fronts.
- People have to juggle their commitment with the rest of their lives and often we know exercise is the first that gets sacrificed. My friends are all very busy people with families and responsibilities and some days -- training for PTC does not even make the list. So preparing for the event is a sacrifice.
- Team meetings which help people anticipate the upcoming event, build momentum, and commit emotionally to the event are important but often are difficult to find the time to get everyone together.
Mobilizing resources is also a big challenge.
- The vans are the most important because they become the incubator for 6 people for way more than 24 hours. All sorts of stuff starts smelling after just a few hours of hard labor so having a vehicle large enough everyone AND their stuff is important. To make matters worse, large vehicles have become rare since the market is moving towards small vehicles with small footprints. It seems ludicrous to buy something for a single weekend a year.
- Besides the vans, food has to be addressed. Replenishing after strenuous exercise dictates how quickly the body recovers so it can do it again. What works for one person may make the next person sick. So this is something that a lot of thought has to go into.
- Then there is clothing. What do you wear for walking long distances? Some of us get soaked in sweat just walking. This year we had the added pressure of expecting rain. And, in rain, everyone gets wet. While there is no avoiding it, it is critical to be able to get dry after wards and that requires more towels and dry clothing, etc. Extra socks are always good. Sandals to wear after each leg to rest your feet are also important.
- Lastly, ... there has to be all sorts of safety equipment for the members. Some of it is required like reflective vests in the night. (All team members are to have on a reflective vest if they leave the van at night.) Additionally, flashlights are required for the legs that are walked in the night. Some use head lamps, hat lights, and all sorts of other things. I prefer hand sized flashlights that have wrist straps, one in each hand. Besides all of that each van needs: First Aid kits, blister treatment supplies, moleskin, Baby Wipes, Sunscreen,
As we prepared, we divided out the team between two vans and tried to give each person a different position than the year before AND attempted to match the person to the difficulty level of the legs. Then we calculated how fast each person was able to walk a mile and used that to determine how long each leg would take. When the Portland to Coast people gave us a starting time of 3AM on Friday morning we were able to immediately know about when each of us would begin and end the legs assigned to us.
Whew. All that and we barely walked a step. The last thing we did was a bunch of us did some training walks. I have done the event many times but this was the first time I participated in deliberately preparing to tackle those hills. The hills we trained on were hard. It felt like going to the dentist... (a bad thing that hurts but you do it because it is good for you in the long run). Training hills and walking the Vernonia Linear Trail gave us a lot of camaraderie, encouragement, incentive, and victories long before we met early on a Friday morning to do the actual event.
DKU
Aug 30, 2009
Portland to Coast Part 2
Every year the Portland to Coast Relay is it's own experience. You come away with your own stories for things that happened on your leg, things that happened in your van, the weather, the course, the other teams. They all come together and create a crazy memory full of struggles and hardships and victories and triumphs. This year was no more and no less than all of that.
Of all the years I have done this, I have never experienced anything like this one. And there were many reasons that made it a most unique experience.
For one... Roadkill. It is a game a lot of teams play where they count the people they pass along the course (i.e. road kill) and then keep track with some sort of sticker or series of checks on their van. A sign of bravado. It kind of sounds fun but I always think of the people on the course who are there because they are courageous and they are tenacious. They do not have athletic bodies and some struggle with all sorts of health reasons. Some are old, some are heavy, some are blind, some are deaf. They are not road kill. They are people to be admired. People who dare to try great things. Those out walking, they are winners. So that's my bleeding heart stance on that. But the real truth is that no matter how much I train and how hard I run or walk, I am usually the one that is road kill for others.
But on Friday morning I walked the hardest leg I have ever walked in my life and not one single person passed me. The enormity of that had me in tears. Was it because I was awesome? No it was a series of luck and strokes of someones pen... but our team led the race, the WHOLE race for 22 out of 24 legs and the last two legs, we had two teams of race-walkers pass us, twice. We finished 5th in Seaside after the race-walkers (who move fantastically, i might add).
So that is what this is about. Like road kill ... good for the passer and bad for the "passee", being first in the race had some good moments and a lot of bad moments. But first consider... our team started at 3 am. Presumably they chose that time for us because we were considered to be a very slow team, a team that the rest of the teams would easily catch up to and ideally we would all finish in the same 3 hour period in Seaside. When we submitted the times for each of our teammates, we used their minutes per mile that they actually did the prior year. I had two new members that we kind of just guessed on.
So my team begins at 3 am (and that meant that several of them never went to bed the night before) in downtown Portland and quickly distinguished themselves from the pack. Dawn, our front secretary is so quiet. She has some health struggles and training has been hard. And her first leg she lopped off 11 minutes from her time! That means she almost walked more than 2.5 minutes faster for each mile than she had done the year before. She walked strong and put us in a great position.
Alan, her husband who spent his birthday with us also increased our lead. Joe and Roberta, Gayle and Rob each increased our lead so that by the time van #2 took over we were ahead. From there we just increased the margin of distance so that by the time van #2 was done we were more than a mile and a half from our nearest competition. It was rather fun in a very unexpected way
As night fell, we quickly realized that being in the front was not the ideal place after all. We had no illusions that we were actually in FIRST place only that we were leading the race. There is a difference and we still believed that as the night began, other teams would be arriving that would be able to pass us. Sometimes after an exchange we would sit and wait for the next walker to arrive, counting the minutes and figuring out how many miles back the nearest walker was. Apparently, the Portland To Coast people had majorly miscalculated their resource requirements and as we arrived at each exchange point, the toilets were there but little else. Volunteers were scheduled to be arriving up to an hour and a half after we would be thru each exchange. Forks in the road were not marked. No volunteers were present to point us in the right directions.
Usually at night a walker in this event would expect to experience a steady line of vans decorated in whatever team logos with bright lights and usually some shouts of encouragement. Other walkers would be passing them and they too would be passing walkers. Aloneness is not ever an issue during the relay race. But since we were so far in front, we experienced no vans, no other walkers, only black darkness. It was rough.
But here is the thing about working as a team. You get to experience your teammates in the midst of whatever is being faced and find out who they are. Hearing Dawn had walked her first leg at 3 AM, 11 minutes faster than she was supposed to was BIG. Seeing Ted as the survivor man equipped to handle sleeping in the rain, making his tea out on the road. In the race, he is an animal. At one point we were waiting for him to arrive at the next exchange and we did not even recognize him with his bald head covered in a baseball hat and his head down striding for the line, with his happy smile on his face. Bill who had not walked anything over 3 miles in his training not only poured it out for 6 miles on his first leg that started with a gnarly gravel steep climb, but I saw him jumping like a deer to move off the road when the log trucks were barrelling down the twisty windy road. He never skipped a beat. Larry showed us his competitiveness and both he and Valerie were strong strong walkers. But the thing I will always remember is that in the middle of the night when Valerie was going to have to walk 7.75 miles OFF ROAD (meaning the van could not follow) by herself in the black of night with no volunteers around and no other walkers for safety - Larry, exhausted by his own legs, put on his shoes and stepped out into the black rainy night to be with his wife. Valerie is a strong confident walker. If others had been around she would not have needed that kind of support. Larry knew that. He took care of his wife in a way that was over and above. But that is what teams do. (I assume it is a good thing for a husband to do, too :))
Roberta as always .. small and sometimes frail we often forget how very tenacious she is. She gives her all. Joe encourages everyone he sees. Rob and Gayle are strong and athletic. Candace walked hard in the rain as did several others of our group. The rain really added a kink for everyone. Candace and Rob were wonderful at driving which takes extra focus especially when there is no one to follow. It takes us all and that is how we become a team.
I will always be grateful that in the middle of the black night, dark coast range, heavy cloud cover, the night that animals were rustling in the bushes all around, my team with Candace driving followed me and lit my way. I was never alone for long enough to panic.
When you see Bill limping today he will give you some excuse of black toes. They looked awful. As the race wears on, complaining is in the air. I call it righteous complaining. Listen and smile.
When you see Bill limping today he will give you some excuse of black toes. They looked awful. As the race wears on, complaining is in the air. I call it righteous complaining. Listen and smile.
So in the end we arrive early. Go home early. Tough race. We win... not because we placed but because we faced adversity as a group and worked thru it. We saw sides of people we don't see while they are pushing paper. And for a team of mostly old (except for Alan..:)) some fat, some with health problems, pencil pushers we stared it and accomplished our goal. And our first year we came in 78th in our division and this year....... we were 14th!!!! Wahoo! Awesome job! DKU
Jun 7, 2009
Mirrors
In Oregon we have been awakened the last two weekends faced with the worst of human behavior in our news and newspapers. We read and cry for the sadness of it all. We listen trying to find some redeeming part of the stories that allow us to explain it all away. Because information should make us feel better but I fear there is no amount of information that will make these stories ok.
In the first story, a young woman appears to have shoved or thrown her children off a bridge in the middle of the night. The drop was 75 feet and the water frigid. The 7 year old survived the fall and found something to hold on to for more than 30 minutes moaning loud enough to wake up nearby river dwellers who got in a boat at 1:30 in the morning to locate the disturbing sounds. Some reports say she held on to her 4 year old brother who drowned. Later the next morning, the police located the mother at the top of a parking garage preparing to jump. The children appear to be like any children. They had friends and family who loved them, neighbors who found them delightful to watch. Mom is clearly affected by the events and looks haggard and very disturbed. They have her on suicide watch. I think she expected to follow her children into the river. The act is still horrific. http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/06/grand_jury_indicts_amanda_jo_s.html
And then this week a father shot his two children ages 6 and 7 and then himself in a nature reserve less than a mile from my office. Local farmers heard the shots in mid afternoon in quick sequence. The father does not seem to have left a suicide note but did clearly have a plan that was carried out chillingly well.
http://blog.oregonlive.com/hillsboroargus/2009/06/how_does_hillsboro_heal_entire.html
We are left needing some more information…something to help us understand. With every fiber of our being we are driven to protect children, the most vulnerable of our society. We want to educate them and provide decent housing and safe neighborhoods, and we want to make sure that there is good food and full tummies… and of course our children need to have access to medical care and after school programs. We want to make children feel safe and be safe.
There is very little in our experience that tells us we need to protect children from their own parents. However, if you think about it, parents have the opportunity to do the most harm. They can abuse by neglect; they can abuse by being physically or mentally cruel. Parents can fail to provide safe environments for their children and they can expose their children to hurtful people. So much is in the hands of the parents.
Both of these terrible tragedies involved fairly recent marriage breakups. Our state requires parenting classes for all divorcing couples with children. These incidents remind us how very unstable a time it is when couples are divorcing. Those classes go a long way in teaching parents how to be good parents when there is only one person at a time parenting. And during court hearings there is such an adversarial state set where often one is perceived to be a winner and one is a loser. These things all do not bode well for family dynamics. Hopefully those who design these classes will take a closer look at the classes that work with divorced parents to help identify people in crisis.
Lastly, I cannot help but remember many years ago when Susan Smith http://crime.about.com/od/murder/a/susan_smith.htm drowned her little ones and pretended to be just as shocked as the rest of the world. We were horrified then as we are horrified now. But I remember a very shocking sermon as we were grappling with these events. We were looking for reason and explanations and instead we got a mirror. The minister got up and said essentially “there but the grace of God, go I”. What he meant is that many of us if we are honest, will recognize the dark impulses that we have had.. the ones we would not want others to know. There is the moment that we feel like just walking out and skipping dinner, and skipping homework, and not caring who takes a bath and whether the laundry got washed. We want to be far away on a beach with a mai tai and a grass hut and perhaps some meaningful work for people who appreciate us. OR what about those other heinous impulses that flutter thru our minds… just for a second or maybe a minute. Can we not understand a Mom who acts rashly in the moment of the impulse? The Mom who has nothing between her and the impulse to stop it from becoming action? The Dad who has nobody to depend on? Most of us are blessed with resources….between us and those black impulses. We have a partner who we can call and say “I need a break, NOW!” or we call our mother, or maybe trade in a favor from a neighbor, or we go into our bedroom and shut the door and pretend we are alone… just for 5 minutes. But there are many people who have no resources, no close intimate person that they can just say “I need a break” or “I am scared” or “I don’t know how I am going to live thru this” or “I feel so alone and they depend on me”. It is a dark place to be… but a place not so far from where we are.
In the first story, a young woman appears to have shoved or thrown her children off a bridge in the middle of the night. The drop was 75 feet and the water frigid. The 7 year old survived the fall and found something to hold on to for more than 30 minutes moaning loud enough to wake up nearby river dwellers who got in a boat at 1:30 in the morning to locate the disturbing sounds. Some reports say she held on to her 4 year old brother who drowned. Later the next morning, the police located the mother at the top of a parking garage preparing to jump. The children appear to be like any children. They had friends and family who loved them, neighbors who found them delightful to watch. Mom is clearly affected by the events and looks haggard and very disturbed. They have her on suicide watch. I think she expected to follow her children into the river. The act is still horrific. http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/06/grand_jury_indicts_amanda_jo_s.html
And then this week a father shot his two children ages 6 and 7 and then himself in a nature reserve less than a mile from my office. Local farmers heard the shots in mid afternoon in quick sequence. The father does not seem to have left a suicide note but did clearly have a plan that was carried out chillingly well.
http://blog.oregonlive.com/hillsboroargus/2009/06/how_does_hillsboro_heal_entire.html
We are left needing some more information…something to help us understand. With every fiber of our being we are driven to protect children, the most vulnerable of our society. We want to educate them and provide decent housing and safe neighborhoods, and we want to make sure that there is good food and full tummies… and of course our children need to have access to medical care and after school programs. We want to make children feel safe and be safe.
There is very little in our experience that tells us we need to protect children from their own parents. However, if you think about it, parents have the opportunity to do the most harm. They can abuse by neglect; they can abuse by being physically or mentally cruel. Parents can fail to provide safe environments for their children and they can expose their children to hurtful people. So much is in the hands of the parents.
Both of these terrible tragedies involved fairly recent marriage breakups. Our state requires parenting classes for all divorcing couples with children. These incidents remind us how very unstable a time it is when couples are divorcing. Those classes go a long way in teaching parents how to be good parents when there is only one person at a time parenting. And during court hearings there is such an adversarial state set where often one is perceived to be a winner and one is a loser. These things all do not bode well for family dynamics. Hopefully those who design these classes will take a closer look at the classes that work with divorced parents to help identify people in crisis.
Lastly, I cannot help but remember many years ago when Susan Smith http://crime.about.com/od/murder/a/susan_smith.htm drowned her little ones and pretended to be just as shocked as the rest of the world. We were horrified then as we are horrified now. But I remember a very shocking sermon as we were grappling with these events. We were looking for reason and explanations and instead we got a mirror. The minister got up and said essentially “there but the grace of God, go I”. What he meant is that many of us if we are honest, will recognize the dark impulses that we have had.. the ones we would not want others to know. There is the moment that we feel like just walking out and skipping dinner, and skipping homework, and not caring who takes a bath and whether the laundry got washed. We want to be far away on a beach with a mai tai and a grass hut and perhaps some meaningful work for people who appreciate us. OR what about those other heinous impulses that flutter thru our minds… just for a second or maybe a minute. Can we not understand a Mom who acts rashly in the moment of the impulse? The Mom who has nothing between her and the impulse to stop it from becoming action? The Dad who has nobody to depend on? Most of us are blessed with resources….between us and those black impulses. We have a partner who we can call and say “I need a break, NOW!” or we call our mother, or maybe trade in a favor from a neighbor, or we go into our bedroom and shut the door and pretend we are alone… just for 5 minutes. But there are many people who have no resources, no close intimate person that they can just say “I need a break” or “I am scared” or “I don’t know how I am going to live thru this” or “I feel so alone and they depend on me”. It is a dark place to be… but a place not so far from where we are.
May 23, 2009
So much to say
Often when I go longest between posts it is because I have written dozens.. that need work. This one is off the cuff so give me some grace.
I have joined the many people who gratefully still have a job... but will have a reduction of hours and the accompanying reduction in pay. I actually thought it was a great idea when it was just an obscure solution. We were just kicking around potential solutions when the problems had not been completely identified. It just seemed that it would be better for all of us to take a cut than to cut a person. I still believe that.
However, when it was really presented as "THE PLAN", I did not like it so much. I think that it was because of the reduction in pay. No one wants their pay reduced. After all, I work many hours over and in fact.. I have not experienced a lack of work since the beginning of the year. IT seemed ludicrous to have me work less which makes me bill less which brings less cash to the company. And all those hours I worked more... I did not get more money. But now that I am going to work less... it goes with less money.
So you can see that it was a bit of a struggle. I wanted to yell "foul". But then you start recognizing all those that are out of work. And the many more friends, neighbors, family who are also working reduced hours. The more I thought about the reduction in hours, I began to warm up to the idea. In fact, I can live on less. There will be adjustments. Many adjustments. But I can do it.
What I can really do is warm up to the idea of having one day out of 10 to call my own. A bonus day. A day to get stuff done. A day to make things happen. A day to start new projects. A day to finish old stuff. A day no one expects me to be anything or anywhere or even anyone special. The more I thought about that day the more I liked the idea of the cut in pay and the day to myself.
I have often thought about asking for what I was just given. How is that? SO... now it is here. I hope that the entire workforce begins to recognize that long work weeks reduce the need for more workers. We take jobs away from others by being so completely sufficient. Companies have gotten by with fewer employees (fewer benefits to pay out) and greater profits because we have been willing to work long long hours at the sacrifice of our families.
So--- I am not complaining. I am eager for more time off even if I lose some pay along the way. It connects me with the vast majority of us that have been badly affected by this economic downturn. God is still faithful and He just might have important stuff for us to do with some free time!
I have joined the many people who gratefully still have a job... but will have a reduction of hours and the accompanying reduction in pay. I actually thought it was a great idea when it was just an obscure solution. We were just kicking around potential solutions when the problems had not been completely identified. It just seemed that it would be better for all of us to take a cut than to cut a person. I still believe that.
However, when it was really presented as "THE PLAN", I did not like it so much. I think that it was because of the reduction in pay. No one wants their pay reduced. After all, I work many hours over and in fact.. I have not experienced a lack of work since the beginning of the year. IT seemed ludicrous to have me work less which makes me bill less which brings less cash to the company. And all those hours I worked more... I did not get more money. But now that I am going to work less... it goes with less money.
So you can see that it was a bit of a struggle. I wanted to yell "foul". But then you start recognizing all those that are out of work. And the many more friends, neighbors, family who are also working reduced hours. The more I thought about the reduction in hours, I began to warm up to the idea. In fact, I can live on less. There will be adjustments. Many adjustments. But I can do it.
What I can really do is warm up to the idea of having one day out of 10 to call my own. A bonus day. A day to get stuff done. A day to make things happen. A day to start new projects. A day to finish old stuff. A day no one expects me to be anything or anywhere or even anyone special. The more I thought about that day the more I liked the idea of the cut in pay and the day to myself.
I have often thought about asking for what I was just given. How is that? SO... now it is here. I hope that the entire workforce begins to recognize that long work weeks reduce the need for more workers. We take jobs away from others by being so completely sufficient. Companies have gotten by with fewer employees (fewer benefits to pay out) and greater profits because we have been willing to work long long hours at the sacrifice of our families.
So--- I am not complaining. I am eager for more time off even if I lose some pay along the way. It connects me with the vast majority of us that have been badly affected by this economic downturn. God is still faithful and He just might have important stuff for us to do with some free time!
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